A more recent turn in Amanda Bynes' ever-winding downward spiral into messy wigtown has been the repeated use of her go-to insult: "you're ugly." Like a bong from the 36th floor, she hurls it around with reckless abandon. She says it so much that—much like microdermal implants, Twitter, and vagina murder—it's become her "thing." Here, we review everyone who Bynes considers U-G-L-Y (you ain't got no alibi).
In February, Bynes addressed the rapper directly when she tweeted him a picture of himself, and saying, "Ugly face." It seemingly came out of nowhere, but is actually familiar territory for Jay-Z, who has rapped in "Song Cry" that women "used to tell they friends I was ugly and wouldn't touch me." Becoming wealthy and famous had supposedly fixed all that—but apparently not entirely.
Nobody really cared when Bynes went after the gossip blogger's looks in April, maybe because he became famous doing the exact same thing to celebrities earlier in his career. Bynes said:
[Perez] has never had a hot boyfriend. He makes being gay look bad! No one wants to be a single parent bc no man wants them.
Just because u talk about stars all day & pick terrible photos of us doesn't make u famous! Ur face is ugly even @ ur thinnest!
Actually, the tweet in which she called him "ugly" had over 2,000 retweets and was favorited 1890 times, with many concurring with her sentiments. However, two months later Bynes backtracked, tweeting:
@PerezHilton you never look ugly! You look cute! Thanks for supporting me!
It was in response to Hilton wearing a T-shirt of a picture of Bynes' recent bewigged court appearance.
Complex magazine's writers
After Complex posted a video of Bynes sucking on Sour Patch Kid accompanied by, like, two paragraphs about the retired actress' "erratic behavior" she tweeted quite possibly the best long-tweet in the history of the world:
@ComplexMag you're ugly writers, I don't want to be in your lame ass magazine thanks! So stop asking me! I just read an article saying I'm having a break down on twitter. I tweet like every person on earth. I'm not making empty threats on twitter. Everything I say will come true for me. I don't need your advice thanks! Are any of you multi-millionaires? I highly doubt it! Because I'm loaded! Millionaires do things less desperately than average folks like you. You are pathetic writers and a lame excuse for a magazine. I have so much money that I'm giddy all day, every day. Not needing to work again is far more impressive than any of your ugly writers careers. You're writers are so ugly I don't even care to be in your magazine. Scott Mescudi always looks ugly on the cover of your magazine. I hope your magazine goes under and you all fail at life like you seem to be.
(Tanya Ghahremani, the girl who wrote that blog post for Complex, appears to be very cute.)
Some collateral damage in Bynes' fight with Complex was her ex-bf Kid Cudi. Tweeting to Complex she said:
You're dick-whipped by my ugly ex @ducidni whose looks and talent have always been questionable to me, him being the ugly duckling that he is and all. His best photos are shit compared to my best.
Later she claimed take-backsies:
I want to apologize to Scott Mescudi. My account was hacked, I didn't call him ugly. He's not ugly. He's gorgeous and we dated! I love him;)
Janice Min, Us Weekly, Us Weekly's female editors
Bynes had a real bee in her wig regarding a negative story about her in Us, which suggested that she has mental problems. She went on a Twitter rant:
Please say names of those supposed sources, they sound like you made them up like the crazy person you’re trying to portray me as in your ugly magazine.
I’m talking to the ugly Asian editor and all the ugly women I met when I did a shoot with you. I am suing you every week you put up awful photos with a false “I’m crazy” story. You have never contacted me once to find out who I am or what I’m up to. F*ck You.
We're assuming that by "ugly Asian editor" she means Janice Min. Maybe? Probably. Min left Us Weekly four years ago.
People who say she's insane
In early May, In Touch landed an exclusive interview with Bynes in which she explained why she isn't "crazy." P.S. If you're thinking of becoming her friend, you better make sure you're not ugly.
I have no clue [why people say I’m insane]. Every time I’ve heard it, it came from an ugly person’s mouth, so I don’t care. I have only hot friends.
Similarly, Bynes only gets hated on and punked by ugly men and women.
I feel like I'm being punked by the amount of hate from ugly dudes and women. I don't know you and don't know what you're talking about!
Her old nose
It wasn't until Bynes began publicly complaining about media outlets using pre-nose job photos of her that "nose webbing" became a thing.
The paparazzo who scored big for In Touch after he got himself invited into Bynes weed-soaked apartment and took a shit load of pictures before Frenching her (so profesh!) was later referred to by Bynes as "the ugly faced black man."
In the same rant, she also went after In Touch editor Jessica Finn for being an "ugly faced woman."
In a totally, completely, altruistic, by no means mocking way [/sarcasm] Jenny McCarthy tweeted about Bynes' legal trouble saying she needed help. Bynes responded the only way she knew how:
@JennyMcCarthy you're ugly! Police weren't at my house old lady! Shut the fuck up!
More shocking than Bynes' court appearance over Memorial Day weekend was when she started in with Rihanna, completely unprovoked (but probably over some sort of Drake-related jealousy).
Chris Brown beat you because you're not pretty enough.
unlike ur fugly faced self I don't do drugs! U need the intervention dog! I met ur ugly face in person! U aren't pretty u know it!
In May Bynes was accosted in the parking garage of her apartment building by a group of paparazzi, one of whom repeatedly removed a blanket she was using to hide her face. She called him (and another one) ugly, naturally.
Is it the ugly black one? Oh, there's another ugly black man. It's just your face. It's not a black thing…There's an ugly white one. It's not racist.
The swimsuit model pissed off the wrong aspiring rapper when she tweeted about Bynes' "mental illness." Bynes came back at her with a rant:
Ur not a pretty model compared to me. I signed to Ford models @ age 13. I don't look up to u beauty wise. I'm far prettier than u! I'm offended that you're saying I have a mental illness when I show no sign of it, but thankfully not one man that wants me wants you and you are an old ugly model compared to me! You look 45! You're not pretty so I'm not intimidated by you! I think you're jealous that you're just an ugly model whos career is uninspiring!
After her arrest for drug charges Bynes accused one of the arresting officers of sexually harassing her. The NYPD found "no evidence" to support her claim, so Bynes tried to strike a bargain (via Twitter, the space for legal disputes in 140 characters or less) while at the same time insulting the cop's looks:
Instead of me asking for the cop to be arrested for sexual harassment, I want my case dropped as well. His punishment will be being the cop who sexually harassed someone who would never find him handsome enough to be my boyfriend. That’s worse than any time in jail.
Here is the point in the story in which Courtney Love becomes a beacon of lucidity. She tweeted at Bynes, "pull it together dude." Bynes tweeted:
Courtney Love is the ugliest woman I've ever seen. To be mentioned by her at all makes me and all my friends laugh!
In a radio interview shortly after their exchange, Love—whose debut album with Hole was titled Pretty on the Inside (and who is/was also obsessed with fixing her own nose)—owned up to her own ugliness.
Listen, when I was fourteen I was so bloody ugly, and I thought I was Kate Moss. I chased this guy named Mark…he was the hottest photographer in Portland, around…I gotta show you guys these pictures, they’re so ugly…I had this big schnozz and I had like blusher on like this, and I’m wearing white gloves and black and white [things]…and I am like this, making new wave faces and like voguing and I am so [bleeping] homely and I had a gap in my teeth—and I thought I was the hottest thing in the world. And I was 180 pounds. So if someone calls me ugly, it sort of rolls off my back because…it’s not about looks, it’s about attitude. I mean, you get laid on attitude…
The former N'Sync member spoke about Bynes' "mental problems" on a radio show, earning her wrath.
I ignored Lance Bass on twitter and now he is saying I have a mental illness. Sorry you're an ugly ex boy band member w/ no talent or career.
After RuPaul took Bynes to task for saying "faggot" in a recent tweet, Bynes gave him a sideways diss with the actual target being her own father.
My dad is as ugly as RuPaul! So thankful I look nothing like you both! I had nose surgery after my mug shots so my nose and I are gorgeous!
Rick Bynes (her dad)
Bynes has admitted to being estranged from her parents. She recently tweeted a picture of her father saying:
Haha look at how ugly my dad's face is!
To be fair, she did get the nose that she hated from him.
From one former child star to another, Bynes tweeted at Miley Cyrus: "Ur ugly." Nobody really knows why (although it might have something to do with Liam Hemsworth-related jealousy). A few days later she took it back:
thank you for rooting for me doll! You are one of the prettiest girls! I want my nose to look like yours after my surgeries!
Shortly before she was booted out of her midtown apartment, Bynes reportedly terrorized the place, staring at people and playing ring-and-run:
"She stares you out in the elevator. Residents are terrified to be alone with her. She knocked on one woman’s door, and when it opened, she screamed ‘You’re ugly,’ and ran away."
Proving that she is utterly unpredictable and a total wild card, Bynes did the unthinkable and turned on the vaginal murderer of her dreams: Drake.
Drake has the ugliest smile, ugly gums uneven teeth ugly eyes … I won’t deny calling @drake ugly.
I only like @Drake because he's so ugly! His ugly cheeks at the EA conference! Fine he is not, but he knows he's ugly! I've spoken to him!