According to several reports coming out of Philadelphia, a former “hero cop” who was once rewarded for his bravery in the line of duty with a seat next First Lady Michelle Obama during a presidential speech is being held on $60 million bail (apparently one of the highest in Philadelphia history) for allegedly raping two women at gunpoint, among some other pretty terrible things.
Gatsby, What Gatsby?
CANNES, FRANCE - MAY 19: Actors Justin Timberlake and Carey Mulligan attend the 'Inside Llewyn Davis' Press Conference during The 66th Annual Cannes Film Festival at Palais des Festivals on May 19, 2013 in Cannes, France. (Photo by Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images)
Summer Was the Official Fuck Season for Ancient Egyptians
A sexy new study involving beautifully preserved corpses at an ancient Egyptian cemetery in the Dakhleh Oasis revealed some sexy insight into the sex lives of sex-crazed Egyptians: they enjoyed having procreative, penis + vagina = new person sex in July and August, when the temperatures in the Dakhelh Oasis can soar…
Booze-Free After-Prom Parties Are Still Boring, Even with Bribes
It’s prom season, and for every parent with a teenager not self-assured enough to take itself out for an Evil Dead/The Big Wedding double-feature at the local cineplex instead of attending a chaperoned night of slow-jam hugging in a school multi-purpose room, that means lots of worrying about what sort of after-prom…
Some lonely someone in Florida won all the riches ($590.5 million) from the Powerball lottery.
At long last, after a scandalizing sexcapade
Saturday Night Social: Ben Affleck and 'Ye West On SNL Season Finale
Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro. Seriously, bro, Ben Affleck hosts the 38th season finale of Saturday Night Live tonight with a really obscure toe dancer named Kanye West. Here's hoping they throw Baaahston more teasing/love, like they did in the old-school Jimmy Fallon/Rachel Dratch skits.
Justin Timberlake and Adam Driver unexpectedly duet in ways that make them feel good in Inside Llweyn Davis (previously entitled Peter, Paul and Mary: Twerk It).
The Anteater Baby Jesus Forgives You For Touching Yourself
Last month, Armani, a lady anteater at the LEO Zoological Conservation Center, gave birth to little Archie and mystified zoologists/the world, who had taken it upon themselves to cockblock Armani from their male anteater, Alf. Time-wise, Armani would have conceived when Alf was safely locked away in a separate pen.
