This is Captain Morgan, a dachshund who was on death row in one of Alabama's high-kill shelters when the folks at Badass Brooklyn Animal Rescue took him in. They placed him with Eva Armstrong, one of the group's fosters, and with her by his side, he learned to be a loved dog.

In heartbreaking news, Oklahoma's medical examiner has confirmed that at least seven children drowned in the basement of Plaza Towers Elementary earlier today after a tornado ripped through the city of Moore, OK. In keeping with the horrific events, officials say the death toll will most likely rise.

Or does eating tiny vagina fruit (figs) really turn you into a sex goddess?

With all the controversy over Disney's recent choices with Merida, here's some good news!

Is there anything more terrifying than not being invited? Cue screams.

Today in totally not-at-all manufactured real-life news about facts, somebody asked Miley Cyrus if she wanted to make out with Rihanna and she was like "yup," and then somebody else asked Rihanna if she wanted to make out with Miley Cyrus and she was like "k," and now the two of them pretty much have a lesbian…

In today's edition of Tweet Beat, Cher may be under the impression that she received every human being on the planet as a birthday gift, tweeting at yourself is so Raven, and Diplo dispenses some wisdom about hygiene.

I'm sure by now you're familiar with Pete Santilli, the right-wing radio host, "former U.S. marine, and Coca-Cola Executive," who recently presented his extremely impressive four-point plan for shooting Hillary Clinton in the vagina.