Zooey Deschanel managed to use her time trapped in L.A. traffic to rebound with property brother Jonathan Scott, making this the only vaguely pleasant story in existence about being trapped in an automobile in Los Angeles.
In case you didn’t know, the Carpool Karaoke segment from James Cordon’s late-night show in which celebrities awkwardly sing to car windows is apparently popular enough to be its own thing, and Deschanel met Scott while filming an episode featuring musical siblings. In case you are unfamiliar with Property Brothers, it is that television program always playing softly in the background at your mother’s house where siblings buy fixer-upper houses and fix them up.
It seems like an odd match, but Deschanel recently announced a split from her husband, and everyone knows that first relationship after a break-up is the “Sure, why not?” one with someone whose name you forget immediately upon telling them you’re not ready a month and a half to the day after your first date, if not before.
No word on how Emily got on with the second property brother. [People]
In other sibling news, Kim and Kourtney Kardashian’s dislike for one another continues to be the most genuine thing about either of them. A recent disagreement over Kourtney’s outfit choices for her birthday party somehow escalated into a fight about the legitimacy of Kim’s philanthropy and commitment to her legal studies:
‘You’re going to school to become a lawyer and help the world and these are the kinds of problems you have?’” Kourtney said in a recount of the fight. “And she’s like, ‘You’re really a miserable human being and you keep not understanding the issue because you, all of a sudden, turn into such a humanitarian and talk about the world’s issues — which you’ve not contributed one ounce to the world.’”
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In response, Kim brought up the gif-famous classic Kourtney line “There’s people dying, Kim” to insinuate that her sister does not actually care about the mortality of her fellow man:
“You f–kin’ fake humanitarian hoe. I actually do s–t for the world and you f–king fake it all day long,” Kim said. “And act like, ‘Oh! There’s people dying, Kim.’ And what the f–k are you doing about it? So, shut the f–k up.”
Sisterhood. [Us Weekly]
- Sam Smith’s pronouns are they/them. [People]
- Ashton Kutcher is not angry about Demi Moore’s book in case you were worried. [Us Weekly]
- Gigi Hadid is being sued for posting pictures of her ex, Zayn Malik, which is fair, as all photographic evidence of a relationship should be destroyed the second a relationship ends. [E! News]
- Mama June has been convicted on drug charges. [TMZ]
- I can’t see this Rihanna baby bump everyone keeps talking about, and it’s like those Magic Eye pictures all over again. [Bossip]
- Duchess Kate wants her children to hike and camp, which seems like an easily achievable goal but is somehow unobtainable for royalty. [Celebitchy]