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Your Slacker Boyfriend Would Probably Like to See You Fail

Illustration for article titled Your Slacker Boyfriend Would Probably Like to See You Fail

Women are doing better than ever in school, and sometimes their male significant others can't stand to see them succeed.

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According to an August study by the American Psychology Association, a man's "self-esteem is lower when he sees his female partner succeed than when he sees her fail".

Thomas DiPrete, a sociology professor at Columbia University, says that a man might be upset about their lady partner's success because of upheaval of traditional gender roles and possible bruised egos:

If they're brought up to think that it's the man's job to be the primary breadwinner — but they're dating or marrying women who are as successful or more successful than themselves — at least for some men, I think that creates problems in terms of a disconnect with a masculine identity they have.

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Experts advise that communication is key when it comes to this — and all — relationship issues, but how far do young women need to go placate a partner who secretly seethes inside when she shines? That's pretty fucking wack. Perhaps these dudes would be best benefitted by a mirror with which to check themselves.

[APA, USA Today]

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DISCUSSION

LaGigglesdeSati
LaGigglesdeSati

Jesus. I was talking to a male friend about what personality traits he liked and I mentioned a specific woman I thought he might be interested in. He said "She's not..." and I said "very practical?" and he said "Oh, no, I like that she's not practical, because then I can be the competent one..." Wait, you WANT someone who has difficulty getting through the day because of your savior complex?

Banging my head. It's like we live in some insane messed-up patriarchy or something where women who are real adults aren't desirable.