Your Purse is Grosser Than a Toilet Seat

Purses are both a blessing and a curse for ladies on the go. Invest in a good tote, said fashion, and so I obeyed. And man am I happy I listened to fashion. I love my gigantic Mary Poppins purse: It’s the black hole where I throw in my makeup bag, tampons, books and magazines, miscellaneous objects found on the street that may come in handy one day, and most importantly, snacks. Lots of snacks. But your go-to bag, that precious carryall that holds your life and all the crumbs that go with it, is likely to hold more bacteria than the average toilet seat. Dammit, perfect tote bag. I knew it was too good to be true.

Researchers at Initial Washroom Hygiene have found that the items women usually carry in their handbags, like lotion and mascara, carry more bacteria than most toilet seats. When your loose Fig Newton bumps against them in your tote bag, like a two lonely dancers in a crowded nightclub, trouble ensues. As for the bags themselves, leather bags are the most prone to gather lots of bacteria thanks to their spongy texture, perfect for gross stuff to grow and spread. Alas, a $12,000 Birkin is more likely to get you sick than a pink plastic purse from Hot Topic. Suck it, rich people!

Another common reason handbags get gross: bathrooms. Chances are, if there’s no hook in the stall where you’re trying to pee, you’ll throw your bag on the floor. Then you’ll pick it up, then you’ll scratch the corner of your eye, etc. If you weren’t an OCD, bacteria obsessed freak before, imagine yourself as a kid on the Magic Schoolbus following Miss Frizzle and the life of a slimy bacteria from the bathroom floor to a purse and into someone’s mouth. Seatbelts, everyone!

But if you’re a stubborn defender of The Almighty Handbag like me, all this means is you’ll pause before you put that lollipop that fell on your bag back in your mouth. Building resistance or whatever, right? Right.