Just like Aunt Sheila, who dabbles in ceramics and leaves her wet tea bags on the side table instead of in the garbage where they belong, Meryl Streep just learned that sexting and Snapchat are two entirely different things.
In a breathless and adulatory interview with PrideSource about her career and her status as a LGBT icon, the 67-year old Streep revealed she just learned that Snapchat, a social media app best used as a repository for beach videos and puppy-face selfies, and sexting are not one in the same.
Take it away, Meryl.
Somebody told me that I Snapchatted but I don’t know how to Snapchat and I thought it was the thing that you do when you’re sexting sort of and then you want it to be erased. I didn’t know what they were talking about!
She’s not entirely wrong here. Indeed, Snapchat is an excellent tool for sending your intended recipient dimly-lit photos of your downstairs because the snaps do “disappear” from the app. A regular text message is also an excellent tool for sending a person pictures of your jumbly bits. Following that logic, to Snapchat is analogous to sexting. But, in order to Snapchat, you have to have the app. Anyone with a phone and two thumbs or the desire to hit that little microphone button next to the space bar and yell their intended message in the general direction of their phone can send a text, whether it be nakey pics or the Time Warner password that your dad had to change after you logged in too many times trying to watch the freaking Olympics and locked the entire family out of the account. One can only Snapchat if they have the app.
By my foolproof logic, Meryl Streep must have Snapchat. Did her assistant sneakily install it on her phone? Are there a few people in this world who receive snaps of Meryl with the flower crown filter lip-synching to “Rose’s Turn” from Gypsy while she’s in her trailer? Is the last scenario just a scene from rich inner fantasy life?
I want answers. If Meryl Goddamn Streep is on Snapchat, I want to know.