Your Burning Cat Questions, Answered by the One and Only Maru

How is Maru so much cuter than anything else on Earth? Riddle me that. Year after year, that cat just gets MORE ADORABLE. He’s obviously made a deal with the devil (as cats are wont to do) and I’m fully supportive of it. I’d sell my soul to be exactly one-third as cute as Maru. Maybe even one-fourth. Fuck it, I’ll settle for one-eighth, now I just need a buyer. ::spooky Halloween music plays.::