This afternoon, a bunch of bees swarmed a Sabrett’s cart in Times Square. “What do the bees want?” some horrified onlookers might demand. But the answer is so obvious: A hot dog and an afternoon in the greatest city on Earth without anybody getting up in their goddamn business! Is that okay with you? Can a bee LIVE?
Okay, yes, they are blocking up the sidewalk in one of the city’s easiest-clogged arteries. But that makes them no different from any other tourist! They just want some cheap t-shirts, a selfie, and maybe some lottery tickets to Hamilton (yeah right) or, barring that, to catch a matinee for Beautiful: The Carole King Musical.
However, it was not to be, because the city immediately sent out somebody to vacuum all these overwhelmed tourist bees off the hot dog cart umbrella where they stalled out, all their grand vacation plans come to naught.
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The best part of this story is that Reuters—which is also located in Times Square—began livestreaming these bees who were just trying to grab a quick bite. There are two potential scenarios here. Either somebody unlucky enough to be stuck in the office during the worst internet week of the year went to lunch, saw a bunch of bees swarming this hot dog cart, came back to the office, told everybody, “Hey, a bunch of bees are swarming a hot dog cart,” and their boss decided to send out a livestreamer because why not, it’s not like there’s any other news, OR somebody noticed the tweets and said “Look—let’s livestream the bees.” Either scenario screams “wine not,” and Jezebel salutes it.
New York, baby! What a town!