Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes

Yessir, George and Amal Went To a Family Reunion In Kentucky This Week

Illustration for article titled Yessir, George and Amal Went To a Family Reunion In Kentucky This Week

Kentucky’s golden boy has come home! (For a little while, at least.) Yep, George Clooney, big time Hollywood star and Oscar winner made his way to Augusta this week for an annual family reunion. He even brought his big time Hollywood wife along for the trip. Good to know that he still makes time for family east of the Mississippi, even when he’s got all those movie star friends in Los Angeles to keep him company.

Advertisement

George made sure to take his new bride to all the hotspots in town, and boy did she love every second of it. (And, I must say, she looked dang good doin’ it.) At breakfast, they got biscuits and gravy - and Mrs. Clooney, thin and British as she is, went ahead and had some herself. She may have been surprised by how much she liked southern food, but I sure ain’t.

After breakfast, we hear he even went down to the gym to play basketball with some of the students. Anybody who knew him way back when’ll tell tell you that a move like that is just like George - he’s always been there to make you smile. Once he worked up a sweat (and let some of those kids upload their photos to the Facebook), they went on down to Maysville to to get some transparents - and lemme tell you, Mr. and Mrs. Clooney sure weren’t transparent at all! Seems like attention follows them just about wherever they step foot. And can you believe the missus ate biscuits and transparents in one day? Looks like our George has found himself a keeper.

Advertisement

We ain’t heard word about the family reunion, but if George is as into those practical jokes as he was back in the day, I’m sure it was a load of fun. I remember one time that boy left a flamin’ pile of horse manure on my doorstep and rang the buzzer. I came out in nothin’ but my boxer shorts, screamin’ like the Dickens, and I’ll be danged if I couldn’t stop that bag from blazin’! Yessir, it burned my whole got dang house down, and George just watched from across the street gigglin’ like he was readin’ the funny papers. He sure got me good, didn’t he?

Welcome back, George! I’ll make sure to wear my boots to the door if someone buzzes tonight!


Contact the author at bobby@jezebel.com.

Image via Magee’s/Facebook

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

brianschlosser
Brian Schlosser

As a native Kentuckian (who once even spent a year working with George Clooney’s sister), let me politely invite you to go fuck yourself.

You’re mocking a man for visiting his home? For bringing his wife with him? For being from a state you regard as a joke?

Well, gawwwleee, mister fancee Noo Yarker, yew shore did larn us rubes good, a hyuck hyuck hyuck!

You’re a Kentuckian with an inferiority complex that compels you to rag on your home state, or you’re from some other “bad” state, and you feel compelled to prove to your urbanite cohorts that you’re not one of “those” people.

Either way, you’re not half as clever as you think you are, and also your glasses are stupid and lame.