'Yes, You Guessed It, Colonics': Here's How to Look Beautiful on Your Wedding Day

Illustration for article titled 'Yes, You Guessed It, Colonics': Here's How to Look Beautiful on Your Wedding Day

It takes work to look like Emily Weiss, beauty editor, Into the Gloss founder, Glossier CEO and former star of The Hills—particularly on her wedding day.


At Into the Gloss, to contextualize a forthcoming post about her 37-person nuptials in the Bahamas, Weiss has published a wedding prep diary. “Did I go overboard?” she asks. “Perhaps. Was it high maintenance? Maybe. I did spend an inordinate amount of the fall on my back. But, it worked. I was 8/10 happy with how I looked…pretty good!”

Weiss went on a “detox/overall good-common-sense program” that banned dairy, gluten, sugar, alcohol, coffee, and “pretty much any of my other favorite foods.” She paired that with the obvious next step:

Yes, you guessed it, colonics.

In the Body section of the prep diary, Weiss meets with Daria Werbowy’s personal trainer, goes to barre classes, and gets massaged. “I like a semi-stressful massage,” she writes. Then, for the Face section, Weiss recommends microcurrents:

Microcurrent. It’s been around forever—one of those things that was invented for serious medical reasons and then reappropriated for vanity purposes (see: Botox). Shamara Bondaroff is NYC’s cool-girl practitioner; at her studio SB Skin, she uses a combination of wands and pads to jolt sluggish face and body muscles into action and stimulate collagen production, thereby lifting and sculpting. It’s not uncomfortable, it takes roughly an hour and a half, and I believe in it. Body is where I noticed the biggest difference after our six sessions. Butt = higher.

She shouts out her “goddess” facialist, and then laser hair removal, the classy kind.

Myriam Vasicka’s office is very Park Avenue, her demeanor is very soothing grandmother, and, most importantly, her technique/machines/what have you are swift and painless. My upper lip is on the road to permanent smoothness, at last.

In the Nails section, Weiss gets gel manicures—“I only see Julie Kandalec who is incredibly precise and focused”—and quick mani-pedis. In the Lashes section, she recommends a woman named Soul Lee.

I showed her an Instagram selfie of west coast babe Caroline Vreeland who gets super subtle extensions that make her eyes look like anime almonds, and said I wanted less “glam hooker” and more of the Vreeland look. Nailed it!


She then recommends an eyebrow person who “creates a slightly more trim, tailored look than my West Coast favorite,” and a natural, grown-out hair look, and teeth whitening.

This pre-wedding beauty diary falls fairly in line with what has become conventional wisdom about what one must do to look beautiful on one’s wedding day: Vogue recommends that brides-to-be start preparations six months out, for one, and InStyle comes up with 21 steps. In general, it feels extremely relatable to me, a person who frequently mistakes her vape for eyeliner and is currently trying to drink enough water to stay alive. Cheers to you, Emily Weiss.


Contact the author at jia@jezebel.com.

Image via Instagram


Snake Person

“detox/overall good-common-sense program”