If you're trying to spend your holiday season rediscovering your faith in humanity, it's probably best that you not think about how 30,000 people collectively spent $180,000 buying actual boxes of shit from a card game company.
We first brought you the story in November of how Cards Against Humanity protested Black Friday by selling actual boxes of bullshit aka shit aka feces aka poop. Over Black Friday weekend, the company posted a message telling visitors they were pulling their immensely popular game and temporarily replacing it with boxes of bullshit available for purchase at $6 each. The company's founder, Max Temkin even drove the point home on Twitter, telling people over and over again that no, they weren't selling anything other than a goddamn box of shit. "If you buy the poop expecting it to be something else that's not poop, you're actually buying a valuable life lesson for $6," Temkin wrote on Twitter. Despite all of this, Cards Against Humanity sold out of their boxes of shit in one hour.
Now people are finally getting the highly coveted boxes of shit they ordered and some are surprised to find that they—GASP—actually got a box of shit. LAist kindly purchased one and unboxed it (I'm soooooooo glad no one here thought of making me do that).
The package arrived at my apartment late yesterday afternoon and was waiting for me when I came home from work.
The package consisted of a cardboard box with a cute little pile of poop on the front, not unlike the poop emoji. Once opened, there was a plastic wrapped box that said 'Bullshit' in that Helvetica font, designed in the same monochrome manner as the card game. There was also a little one-inch pin with the same cutesy poop pile on it. This must be to put on a messenger bag, so that those who spent $6 on poop can identify each other in crowds.
Inside the box was a piece of dried bull poop. One adventurous soul on YouTube even went so far as to break the poop in half to see if perhaps there was a hidden object inside. He also inspected the packaging very closely, but only unearthed dry, poop dust.
The video above from LAist shows that yup, it's a piece of shit and nope, there's nothing else that comes with it. You just bought $6 worth of shit. Congratulations.
It gets better. Now, jackasses who bought $6 boxes of shit are dumping them on Ebay. Some bids are as high as $30.
To reiterate, Cards Against Humanity made $180,000 selling boxes of shit to people. There has not been an alcoholic beverage invented yet that is strong enough to help me deal with this story.
UPDATE: According to a tweet I received from Cards Against Humanity on Monday, the company says they didn't get $180,000 in straight profit (which I think we all kind of expected, due to overhead, cost of shipping, etc.) :
While it's correct (as founder Temkin tweeted previously) that they sold 30,000 units, CAH tells me those lumps of shit cost $5.80 each to mail out:
Who knew mailing shit was such a costly affair? Whatever; they said they donated the money to Heifer International, which distributes livestock to families in communities around the world to promote self-sustainability. So a good thing came out of a shitty thing (I EAGERLY AWAIT YOUR 'I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE' MEMES). But 30,000 people shelled out $6 a pop to buy fucking SHIT. $174,000 went to sending people desperate to get their hands on some kind of pop culture commodity aka boxes of actual shit and $6,000 went to an organization trying to make a difference in the lives of the world's impoverished communities. I sadly doubt that if Cards Against Humanity had said "please give $6 right now to Heifer International," 30,000 people would have done so in less than an hour.
I'm trying to cling to the bright side here but it's hard.