​Would You Use This Odor-Eating Toilet Seat?

For some reason, we seem to have a problem understanding that feces are, indeed, smelly. We smell millions, possibly billions of dollars trying to hide away a fact of the human body in what I like to refer to as *pushes up glasses* *pulls down overhead screen* *whips out pointer thing* the Poop Industrial Complex. Case in point, this new toilet seat that eats up odors, while you poop.

Kohler Co’s latest product is a deodorizing toilet seat that “eliminates embarrassing bathroom odors” (NOT EMBARRASSING, PEOPLE). Via AP:

A fan hidden in the battery-operated seat sucks in air and pushes it through an odor-eating carbon filter, followed by an optional scent pack. Product manager Jerry Bougher said the idea is to attack smells “where the action is.”

I mean, it’s pretty brilliant. You can even pimp your throne with with “slow-closing lids, heat and nightlights.” If it was up to me, you’d get 6 HDTV screens, a pull-out pool table and a custom paint job by 2Shae (I worked really hard for that Pimp My Ride reference).

Kohler sees deodorizing technology as something that most consumers can connect with, Bougher said. “In terms of odor, everyone’s experienced it.”

Um. Yeah. Everyone has experienced it. IT’S PART OF THE HUMAN/MAMMAL EXPERIENCE JESUS THIS IS SO CHILDISH. Don’t get me wrong, I have enough smelly poop anxiety to go around. But it just makes me sad (and therefore heightens the anxiety) that we’re really trying to hide a biological function. COME ON WE’RE BETTER THAN THIS. (Are we?)

Image via AP.