Would You Let Katy Perry Deliver Your Child?

Image via Getty
Image via Getty

A brief question: would you let Katy Perry, singer of “Rise” and number one Hillary Clin-stan, deliver your baby?


This hypothetical situation became reality on Monday when the pop star apparently helped deliver her sister’s baby, then dashed off to the stude to record some stuff, like you do. “GET A GIRL THAT CAN DO BOTH,” Perry tweeted, in the parlance of someone who sort of gets that meme, but not really.

Apparently this isn’t Perry’s first time in the birthing room or living room or wherever. She tweeted something similar in 2014 when she helped deliver her older sister’s baby in a living room.

I feel like you’d have to be a monster to bear witness to someone giving birth right in front of you and not feel compelled to at least offer to help, but I have many questions about her role! Did she pull the baby out herself? Did she cut the umbilical cord? Is she on the same level of intimacy with her sisters as the Kardashians, who have waxed each other’s vaginas on cable television? Furthermore, what is it about Katy Perry specifically that causes women to go into labor? Two is a strange coincidence and three is a trend, but I bet there are women in this country who have somehow gone into labor in the presence of Perry’s mysterious powers.

What are you, Katy Perry? Please advise.

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Noted baby Ariana Grande and rapper-individual I never really think about Mac Miller are in L-O-V-E, but it actually sounds nice and normal and regular.


According to People, the two have been friends for a long time and are dating now because their friendship developed and matured and grew over the years. That’s nice. That’s actually very nice. Never mind the fact that Grande calling Miller her “boo” at the Video Music Awards is some of the evidence that People points towards in order to prove their point. My heart is essentially a charred hunk of coal with no room in it for love, real or publicist-manufactured, but this seems nice.

“She’s just very warm and comforting,” Miller said of his new paramour, a sentiment that feels in direct conflict to her reputation, but what do I know? Here’s where it all began, probably.


  • Man, Lea Michele sounds really fun. [THG]
  • Here’s a very straightforward slideshow of celebrity moms who ate their own placentas. [Us Weekly]
  • Taylor Swift remains unbothered. [People]
  • No, Kylie and Kendall Jenner did not pay for this penthouse they rented for Fashion Week. Duh. [TMZ]


SarsAttacks'll take the wine with the gravy

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