Image via Getty and Spotify.

HuffPost senior reporter Ashley Feinberg has published a recent playlist Ivanka Trump made on Spotify, which is comprised of five sad songs that hint strongly of bedroom death, premature ejaculation, and half-hearted dry humping. These include John Legend’s “All of Me” and “Ordinary People,” “When I Was Your Man” by Bruno Mars, “You’re Beautiful” by James Blunt, and Adele’s “When We Were Young.” It is the kind of playlist created by a horny teenager who desperately wants to fall in love and bang (in that order) but has never once seen human genitals and probably won’t for a very, very long time.

In the headline, Feinberg wonders, “Is this Jared and Ivanka’s 21-minute sex playlist?”Assuming, for a second, that Ivanka and Jared do still have sex with each other, how in god’s name could they fuck to this? Could—would—anyone have sex to this? I asked the Jezebel staff that very question—Would U bang to this playlist?

As it turns out, there are many things we would do: some of us would fuck the Mooch, or Donald Trump if he looked like Jason Momoa, and even do it in the house where Trump was likely conceived. But not a single one of us would bang to this playlist.

Ellie Shechet: i could never bone to james blunt

Aimee Lutkin: I fuck at a higher beat per minute, honestly

Joanna Rothkopf: i would never

Also because it takes me significantly longer than 21 mins to climax

a joke.....

Hazel Cills: Never, unless the playlist was part of some sort of psycho-sexual torture game for my partner, because I don’t want to kink-shame

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Julianne Escobedo Shepherd: I’m pretty sure that even Ivanka and Jared don’t fuck to their fuck playlist

Clover Hope: Why the hell do they have “All of Me”

Joanna: this is a playlist to have sex while you’re crying

like tender tear soaked sex

w no thrusts

Megan Reynolds: The worst

Aimee: Break up sex

Joanna: just soakin

Megan: ew it just sits in there

both party’s face are wet with each other’s tears

Aimee: I imagine them rolling around in satin sheets but no one makes the move to take off their underwear

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they just keep throwing rose petals at each other hoping someone falls asleep

Julianne: i bet not even drake would bone to this, and drake is a person who has a supreme rug at the side of his bed

Megan: I think no one fucks to this playlist, but it is the kind of playlist someone going to prom maybe like 4 years ago would put on bc they THOUGHT they were gonna fuck to it but in actuality, they gave a handjob in a minivan and went home

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Ellie: ya this is a playlist for someone who has had sex twice and feels nervous about it

Kelly Stout: I keep going back and forth on whether “your body is a wonderland” should be on this. I’m thinking no

this is a playlist for going soft in the middle i fear

Megan: ew kelly

it is

a playlist for a deflated boner

Rich Juzwiak: well my answer is I bone to beats

and these songs don’t have beats

so that’s insane

they must fuck so slow.or fast?

I don’t know

Clover: fast to “All to Me”

Aimee: Like a hummmingbird just vibrating

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Last time on Would U?, we asked: Would you fuck in the house Trump was conceived in? 16% answered: “If my sex partner was decently hot”; 52.5% said “Under no circumstances”; 18% said “If we could hide the Trump cut-out”; and 13.5% said “Hell yeah, it’s a story!”