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World Cup Thighlights: And Then There Were Two

Illustration for article titled World Cup Thighlights: And Then There Were Two

Sunday in Johannesburg, Spain and Netherlands will compete one last time for gorgeous glory. Odds are on Spain to take the match, but who'll take your breath away? In our ongoing celebration of athletic perfection, this is the final showdown.

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Let's start off by pointing out that the Netherlands have an unfair advantage: Dirk Kuyt always seems to have his shirt off. The Spaniards tend to keep their clothes on, sparking international dismay.

That's not to say all is lost. Claro.

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Netherlands has the hamstrings.

Illustration for article titled World Cup Thighlights: And Then There Were Two

But Spain, the forearms.

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The Dutch are flexible folk.

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But two Spaniards can make a German cry. (After the ass-whippings they handed out, this seems fair.)

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Unsurprisingly, both teams are neck and neck on a leggy level.

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Illustration for article titled World Cup Thighlights: And Then There Were Two

And there's no shortage of heart-melting man-love.

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This, people, is joy. On many levels.

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As we place our bets, let's just take one last, lingering look at what we're dealing with. The Dutch squad:

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Once you've committed all those faces to memory, please proceed to do the same for Spain:

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And here we are. Deep breaths; focus and prepare. And in the midst of the inevitable fervor, remember: Though only one can win the game, there doesn't have to be a loser on this here playing field.

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DISCUSSION

PhillipaMarlowe
Phillipa Marlowe

It really freaks me out every time I see Spain's David Villa because he looks so much like this guy I fooled around with regularly in high school. Weirdness.