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World Cup Thighlights: A Tribute To Our Fallen Heroes

Illustration for article titled World Cup Thighlights: A Tribute To Our Fallen Heroes

As we dribble our way towards the tournament's end, we've bid farewell to many gifted men. So we'd like to take a moment of (relative) silence to honor some of those whom we've most recently had to say goodbye.

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Such as Paraguay's Nelson Valdez, above. Upon losing to Spain, he had a reaction so broken-hearted that our hearts broke as well.

Pour one out for Gabriel Heinze's Argentine hamstrings, which lost to Thomas Mueller and his German teammates.

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Illustration for article titled World Cup Thighlights: A Tribute To Our Fallen Heroes

But Germany would not relish the victory for long; Bastian Schweinsteiger, his omnipotent abdominals, and all of the German team were soon knocked out by Spain.

Illustration for article titled World Cup Thighlights: A Tribute To Our Fallen Heroes

Despidida to Brazil's Gilberto Silva. He and his buddies were sent home by the boys from the Netherlands.

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Illustration for article titled World Cup Thighlights: A Tribute To Our Fallen Heroes

Sulley Muntari and his teammates remind us of happier times with Ghana. But now we've had to break up, destroyed by Uruguay.

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Illustration for article titled World Cup Thighlights: A Tribute To Our Fallen Heroes

However, not even the instigator of a breakup is safe from being dumped by the World Cup — Diego Lugano and the rest of Team Uruguay learned that the hard way after losing to the Netherlands.

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Illustration for article titled World Cup Thighlights: A Tribute To Our Fallen Heroes

May God bless them all.

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DISCUSSION

chaseom
well fuck thee gently with a chainsaw

Should my tireless quest to bring honor, pride, and glory to our great nation ever end in defeat, and my hands be thus forced to clutch the bloody shards of my own broken heart instead of the handles of a trophy, please console me by bringing me the body of Nelson Valdez.