Wondering If Your Son's Gay? Unfortunately, There's An App For That

In a major breakthrough in gaydar technology, an Android app sold for €1.99 in France promises to pin down your son’s sexual orientation with 20 horrible, stereotypical questions. You can read the questions here en français, but for those of us who took eight years of French and can barely read the language [cough], here’s a rough Google translation:

1. Does he like to dress well, pay close attention to his outfits and brands?
2. He loves football?
3. Before birth, did you want that child is a girl?
4. He he been beaten or been involved in a fight?
5. He reads the sports pages?
6. He has a best friend?
7. He loves team sports?
8. He is discreet?
9. Is a fan of singers divas (Dalida, Mylène Farmer …)?
10. Remains there long in the bathroom?
11. Does he have a piercing in the tongue, the arch, nose or ear?
12. Does it take him a long time to do his hair?
13. You ask yourself questions about the sexual orientation of your son?
14. Are you divorced?
15. He likes musicals?
16. Did he introduced you to a girlfriend?
17. His father is very authoritarian to your son?
18. Is his father absent?
19. In his childhood, he was rather shy and quiet?
20. Does he get along with his father?

If your son is determined to be straight, the app says, “You do not have to worry you, your son is not gay. So there are chances for you to be grandmother with all the joys it brings.” If it determines that he’s gay, it says, “No need to look the other way! … He is gay! … ACCEPT IT! …” You see, the joke’s on you, homophobic French mom!

Unfortunately, there’s still no app to test your daughter for homosexuality, so if you’re looking for a way to come to terms with her orientation while you’re in a doctor’s waiting room, you’ll have come up with some offensive lesbian caricatures on your own. [Via The Awl]