Women Have to Start Playing Dumb Boring Golf to Get Ahead in Business

Fancy ladies of business: Do you suffer from headaches because you’re always accidentally bumping your heads against the glass ceiling? Well, the good news is that there might be away for you to break through it once and for all. The bad news is that the way to do that is by learning how to pay golf. Booooooo.

It’s a long-held tradition of business men to meet and make deals on the golf course and while the business world on the whole has become increasingly gender diverse, the putting green continues to be a male dominated space. For example, practically 95% of the members of the Southern California Golf Association (SCGA) are male. Also relevant: when the SCGA asked its 150,00 members to rank why golf is important to them, the professional benefits were among the top reasons listed. This means that women who decline to play golf are at a major disadvantage when compared to their male colleagues who are bonding, making connections and doing business while teeing off.

The SCGA is hoping that this disadvantage will encourage more and more women to learn the World’s Most Boring sport and they’re not alone. Business conferences across the country are offering talks aimed at women on the benefits of bettering your golf game. On one hand, it’s pretty cool that the SCGA and other golf associations even care about having women members. On the other, golf suuuuuuucks. It’s boring, classist, bad for the environment and it increases your risk of being stung by a bee during your business meeting by approximately 100%. Why can’t the sport of business be something cool like bowling or shuffleboard or curling? Then we wouldn’t be able to stop leaning in!