Woman Gives Birth in a Bookstore, Proves Bookstores Are Still Useful

So, a pregnant woman walks into a bookstore…and gives birth, right there in the lobby. Get it? Because, at this point in our cultural reliance on THE INTERNET, bookstores have to diversify. You can’t just sell books out of bookstore — bookstore proprietorship often means selling coffee, babysitting children, and maintaing a sanitary maternity ward.

According to the Guardian, a very pregnant woman walked into a Los Angeles Barnes & Noble recently and, instead of selecting a spooky, scary autumn read, gave birth in the store’s lobby. Firefighters called to the scene debated about whether to call an ambulance or help the woman give birth in the store when they realized that, duh, ideal origin story for a future Nobel Laureate (just kidding — the baby slid down the birth canal faster than a balled-up hedgehog down a water slide, so there was no time for an ambulance to arrive).