Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith are no longer getting jiggy with it, and will divorce by the end of the summer. Radar Online reports the two, who have been married for 17 years, are “exhausted from trying to maintain the façade of a happy union” and will “pull the plug in a carefully choreographed manner” starting—it’s what, August already?—pretty soon!
The A-listers have already “worked out a confidential settlement to protect their $240 million fortune, and prepare their kids [son Jaden, 17, and daughter Willow, 14] for the fallout,” said the insider.
The divorce will likely cause at least one incredible tweet from Jaden. Maybe something like:
Moms? Dads? Husbands? Wives? Sons? Daughters? No. Humans. We’re Still In The Universe’s First Act.
Lena Dunham maybe almost nearly died this weekend. After drifting her paddle board into the bay during a charity event in the Hamptons (summers are a completely different experience when you’re rich, aren’t they?), she had to be saved by pro surfer Laird Hamilton.
In a photo posted to Instagram, Dunham wrote:
It’s hard to tell from this blurry shot, but this is an image of Laird Hamilton coming to save me. He is literally King Triton and as I struggled to complete BCRF’s Paddle for Pink (an amazing event to support breast cancer research) he appeared as if from the ocean’s depths and guided me to the finish line. I kept screaming “will I make it?!” like we were in a disaster movie. He said “yes, Lena, we will.” Ladies, there are still a few heroes we can count on... #ThankYouLaird #paddleforpink #3miles
In the movie version of this, Dunham falls off, hits her head on the board, and her unconscious body begins slowly falling into the depths of the bay. We then transition into an animated sequence of her singing “Under the Sea” with a bunch of cute sea creatures before suddenly cutting to her being resuscitated by Laird on the beach. She coughs up water and continues singing “WE’VE GOT A HOT CRUSTACEAN BAND” as though still in her dream, and everyone gives her a confused look before returning to the charity event. Or something.
In the current issue of Fast Company, Gwyneth Paltrow reveals that it was not her idea to title her divorce post “Conscious Uncoupling.” The decision, reports Page Six, was actually made by “her editorial director Elise Loehnen.”
“When I announced that I was separating on the Web site [Loehnen] titled the piece ‘Conscious Uncoupling,’ and I had no idea,” she said.
OK! But wait. Hold on a sec. The term “conscious uncoupling” is used 10 times in the post Gwyneth wrote! Maybe Loehnen chose the title, but only because “conscious uncoupling” was used so frequently in the post itself.
- Watch Christina Applegate refuse to answer Andy Cohen’s prying questions. [E! Online]
- Kim Kardashian’s Selfish was a flop. [Radar Online]
- Speaking of Kim, this photo makes me uncomfortable. [Radar Online]
- Sort of speaking of Kim, are Amber Rose and Kris Humphries a thing now? [THL]
- Even Bob Barker hates that dentist! [TMZ]
- Nicki Minaj and Drake are still friends despite Meek acting like an idiot. [THL]
- Kylie Jenner didn’t get paid to post about that butt cream. [TMZ]
- Giuliana Rancic and Maria Menunos hate each other so much. Like flames, flames, flames, on the side of their faces. [Page Six]
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