Why Ladies Love Charlie Day

Video of the commencement address delivered by actor/comedian Charlie Day at the Merrimack College graduation ceremony this weekend is currently being swapped around online with a fervent enthusiasm usually reserved for kids swapping pogs in a third grade classroom circa 1995. And it’s no surprise why. Charlie Day is charming as all get-out.

“Apparently, the higher you climb in life, the more ridiculous your hats will become — like the one I’m wearing today or the Pope or Pharrell,” Day said, kicking off a (mostly) serious speech about taking risks and not being controlled by fear.

His words were meant to inspire and inspire they did! But that’s not the only thing his speech accomplished. It also helped to remind me of my massive crush on Charlie Day.

I’m not alone. While the actor who’s most well-known for playing an illiterate who spends most of his time huffing paint and faking cancer is a bit of an unexpected heartthrob, he’s a heartthrob all the same. Broads love him, in and out of his Greenman costume.

I learned this when I guiltily confessed my Charlie crush to a male friend a few years ago.

“You’re probably the fifth girl who I’ve had this conversation with,” he responded, going on to break down It’s Always Sunny crushes into simple categories — most straight girls are into Charlie, most gay guys (himself included) are into Dennis and Dee and Mac are into each other. Danny DeVito, turns out, is for everybody.

Since that initial conversation, the topic has come up sporadically. Fellow female Charlie Day fans bring up their attraction with an “I can’t explain it” kind of shrug, but, having spent a lot of time thinking about it this morning (and talking about it with my coworkers), I don’t really think it’s that inexplicable after all.

Day is intensely charismatic, funny and cute. He has what seems to be a very sweet relationship with his wife Mary Elizabeth Ellis (who plays the Waitress on It’s Always Sunny) and he’s incredibly gifted musically.

I suppose what’s actually questionable isn’t being attracted to Charlie Day, it’s being attracted to his Always Sunny alter ego Charlie Kelly. AND YET I AM. To my credit, I once accidentally complimented a photo of the Night Stalker, so this is really a trade up for me.