Why Are We So Fascinated With Female Suicides?
LatestVice provoked the ire of denizens of decency around the web when they ran a fashion spread depicting photos of famous female authors in the act of doing themselves in. It has since been removed. But was it really in poor taste, or just poorly done? How should we talk about and show the complex tragedy of suicide?
With respect. Suicide is a terrible, often misunderstood thing, and we are right to guard its victims and their families protectively. But in a country where the numbers of suicides are now double that of homicides, when some 1 million people attempt to end their lives annually, when suicide and the mental illness that causes it are both highly stigmatized, when the very subject is taboo, we find ourselves in a conundrum. Instinctively rushing to cover up what we should be shouting about from the rooftops.
Female suicides in particular may hold a certain fascination because they are, well, female. Suicide, like all violence, is thought of as the domain of men. Though men may be more likely to pull it off, women attempt to end their lives three times more often. And though women often use less violent means (poison, pills), their desire to die is still viewed as antithetical to femaleness, a final circuitous grab at the kind of aggressive power granted to men but absent from women’s lives.
Sad or angry young men commit suicide. These are not the feelings we assign to women. Women talk out their feelings, admit vulnerability, seek help, listen to others, care what people think, are more social, so we assume.
For women who feel disconnected, mad at the world, mad at themselves, and unable to make or sustain the bonds that buffer against wanting to self-harm, this is doubly problematic. All of this means we are less likely to see our “sweet girls” or “lovely young women” as raging beneath that placid exterior, to intercept those impulses.
Perhaps this is why we are so drawn tales of women who kill themselves — it is a bullhorn shout from the gender we insist speak with a whisper. It’s the ultimate final word. It upends all of our deeply held ideas, no matter how stereotypical or misguided. Because traditionally speaking, when the gender gifted with the capacity for making life ends it, especially her own, it breaks all the rules.
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