Dancing With the Stars is a show that “exists,” in the sense that a country’s worth of people allegedly watches it every week, and I have never once had it pass through my eyeballs. To my understanding, they’re celebrities who also dance? Or is it normal people plucked from obscurity, to dance with randoms in star-shaped costumes? No matter, the big news today is that some people got fired! And it looks like there’s “drama” over the decision.
On Twitter, DWTS host Tom Bergeron revealed yesterday that he had been “just informed” his job of 15 years will be “continuing without me.”
In an official joint statement, ABC and BBC Studios told ET:
“Tom Bergeron will forever be part of the Dancing with the Stars family. As we embark on a new creative direction, he departs the show with our sincerest thanks and gratitude for his trademark wit and charm that helped make this show a success.”
Reps for Bergeron, meanwhile, had a less effusive story: “ABC opted not to pick up Tom’s option. In the fine tradition of Hollywood cliches, they’re ‘going in a different direction.’” You have to love the way studios deliver this news to people!: Dear Mrs. X, While your contributions to this show over multiple decades have made it an internationally recognized hit, we sadly can’t pay you any more money, and so we’re thoughtfully parting ways. Best of luck!
Elsewhere, ABC and BBC Studios are also “[embarking] on a new creative direction” with Bergeron’s co-host, Erin Andrews. In that same joint statement, the studios told ET: “Erin will also not be returning, and we appreciate all that she brought to the ballroom. Fans have been rooting for her since she originally competed as a contestant back in 2010, and her signature sense of humor has become a hallmark of the show.” Not signature enough, apparently!
Normally, I would offer some consolations to these two. Something along the lines of: “There are more dancing-competition reality shows in Hollywood than there are 7-11s!” But that isn’t really true these days, is it? Oh well. I’m sure these two will land on their feet. [ET]
Close your eyes, and picture your happy place. Paint it inside your third eye, following the sweeps of your mind-brush as it traverses the gentle flow of your brain fantasy. Watch as it dips, and sweeps, and doubles back on itself. Listen closely as color floods it, the rich contrast of your perfect dream filling your heart with a laughter unknown to you, tears streaming down your face, every muscle of your body in the rapture of what you now see before you.
Now hold it there. If that captive image is of towering sunflowers in a backyard garden, congratulations! You’re Jennifer Garner.
This noise emanating from this “Defying Gravity” reunion is going to haunt me until I die, and then it is going to keep haunting me.