Who Wants to Go in on Aunt Becky's $28 Million Mansion With Me?

Illustration for article titled Who Wants to Go in on Aunt Beckys $28 Million Mansion With Me?
Graphic: Joan Summers/Jezebel, Photo: MLS, Getty Images

Aunt Becky is moving, but she pinky-promises it isn’t because her neighbors ignore her, or the Lululemon-clad women at her yoga studio quietly shuffle their mats to the side when she struts in with her latest crime hat. And it definitely, under no circumstances, is because she has spent the last few months lurking around her massive estate, delicately tracing her fingers along its walls and wondering when her friends, or the Hallmark Channel will call her back.

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No, Aunt Becky is moving because her husband, Mossimo Giannulli of the Target Mossimos, really loves architecture. Yep! That is correct. Sources tell TMZ that the besieged, but not yet broken couple don’t mind their status as pariahs in Hollywood. This move is just another phase in their never-ending love story with houses: buying houses, selling houses, crying in expansive walk-in-closets they built when remodeling houses.

The list price, according to the Multiple Listing Service, is $28,650,00o. It is also 12,000 square feet, which is probably enough space to make a serious difference among those most affected by Los Angeles’ dire housing and homelessness crisis. Unfortunately, that price point also means that you, me, and everyone we know could probably never buy this house, even if we pooled our piggy banks and asked very nicely! Unless one of you knows an incredibly wealthy person, at which point I would ask you for their name, address, gate code, credit cards, and social security number. I won’t do anything nefarious with them, though, I promise!

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Illustration for article titled Who Wants to Go in on Aunt Beckys $28 Million Mansion With Me?
Photo: MLS (TMZ)

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DISCUSSION

huntadam
Tony Fernandez

If they can afford to live in a $28.5M estate, they can afford to buy Stanford a fucking new rowing boathouse or some sort of building to get their kids accepted there the legit rich people way and avoid all this going to jail stuff.

The moral of the story is they’re charged with crimes because they’re cheap.