Who Cares About Amber Cole?

By Christelyn Karazin | October 21, 2011 | 7:30pm

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Potentially millions of people committed a felony when they so cavalierly passed links all over the internet of 14-year-old Amber Cole allegedly performing oral sex on her boyfriend while two other boys recorded the event that took place outside of their high school. All of the typical lowest-common-denominator websites gleefully distributed what could be the worst mistake this child has made in her short life. Kids and adults both clucked their tongues, called the girl a whore, said that she was stupid, and that she deserved what she gets.

Well, I’m here to tell all the people who clucked, I hope you, in turn, get your comeuppance too, since several guardian angels have reported distributed links of this CHILD PORNOGRAPHY to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, because guess what? Distributing child pornography is a crime punishable with jail. Blogger “Anna Belle” has organized an online militia dubbed #AmbersArmy to shut down the sites that hosted the videos and rained down a hail of emails to Twitter and Facebook to halt the distribution of this incident.

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Hats off to “Anna Belle,” a woman who took up for this child. But I’m wondering when any black-identified or feminist organization will take up the charge to defend Amber and see to the policing and prosecuting of the perpetrators.

I am honestly so hurt and outraged that today on my Facebook wall, not one African-American man expressed any outrage over this. As men, you are to be our protectors. How things have changed. I was born in the 1970′s and I remember when we would police our own, and if any boy did something like this to a girl he would have gotten a well-deserved tongue lashing, or worse. It wouldn’t have even had to be the father or the brother. Someone would have stepped in. Now, there’s silence. Stop telling girls they should keep their legs closed while simultaneously patting boys on the back for their sexual exploits.

We are watching you, men. We are watching you as you do nothing.

While many are bashing Amber and her actions. Dr. Phoyenx Austin, a physician, writer and media personality had this to say about Amber’s self esteem:

“[Amber’s] actions clearly display that she is so desperate for ANY form of male validation and love that she would degrade herself to this degree. As for the boy, or boys, who are no more than parasites, I sincerely hope that they are dealt with by karma’s hand — and maybe even a male relative that decides to step up to the plate. This is not boys being boys. Their actions were cruel and sick. And you can tell everything about an individual’s soul based on how they treat someone they don’t have to treat well.”

If the National Organization of Women has released a statement on this, please let me know, because as of this post, there’s nothing. I can’t help but wonder out loud how much energy and effort would be directed to this disaster if the girl had been blonde and blue-eyed. I have been critical of certain aspects of feminism in my writings, and this is a prime example of why I don’t stand with you. You ignore a girl who could literally be my daughter when she has been violated in the most vile way.

While Amber Cole’s life will forever be affected by her decision and this video, the boys will be able to lead a relatively normal life. After all their names are not trending on Twitter. Kendyl Cherry, a Facebook friend of mine, had this to say about the young men who were involved in the incident and the double standards of our society that celebrate this deplorable behavior:

“Yes, these boys obviously lacked guidance and direction. And in that way, they too are ‘victims’ of the dysfunction we all recognize as the cause of this mess. But the difference is, THEY will not pay the ultimate price for this ‘dysfunction’. That girl will. And since black folks, choose to CLING like a life raft to sexual double standards, female hating religious dogma, hypermasculine ideals of manhood, and the overall denigration for all things feminine, it is not ‘society’ that is to blame, but US. We refuse to accept equality in our relationships and parity in our ‘roles.’ We promote biblical ideals that are based on the submission and sexual restriction of women, all while glorifying male dominance and aggression.”

I think about the mistakes and missteps I made in my teen-aged and young adult years, and by God’s grace, You Tube and Twitter had not yet been invented. Are you still laughing? For all those who will dismiss this event and blame only the girl, I hope a new circle in Hell will be invented, just for you.

Christelyn D. Karazin is the co-author of “Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate Mixing Race, Culture and Creed” (to be released April 2012), and runs a blog, Beyond Black & White, dedicated to women of color who are interested and or involved in interracial and intercultural relationships. She is also the founder and organizer of “No Wedding, No Womb,” an initiative to find solutions to the 72 percent out-of-wedlock rate in the black community.

This post originally appeared on Madame Noire. Republished with permission.

Image via Joyce Michaud/Shutterstock.