While We Were Worrying About the Debate, Rick Perry Rolled His Ankle in a Bullfight-Inspired Dance

By Joanna Rothkopf  |  September 27, 2016 | 9:00pm
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On Monday evening, all anybody could think about was the presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and a piece of space junk that has developed its own gravitational pull. But wake up, sheeple!!! The world kept spinning!!! New content kept airing!!! Rick Perry did paso doble in full bullfighting garb and nobody is talking about it!!!!!

The evening’s show was truncated from its usual two hours to one hour to make room for the debate, and featured couples doing quick “face off” dances against each other. The most noteworthy among the face offs was between former Texas Governor and death penalty enthusiast Rick Perry, and Vanilla Ice.

Here’s the full package that played before the dances:


A few things to note: Vanilla Ice calling a paso doble a “paso boble;” Ice’s partner Witney Carson saying that the words paso doble are Latin (they are Spanish); Perry graphically rolling his ankle (trigger warning) and explaining why he can’t give up because of the soldiers: “When I think about the men and women who serve us in the military—when they get hurt they keep pushing on, so it’s gonna take more than that.” Everybody just calm down.

Here’s Vanilla Ice’s oddly emo number, if you care:

Also, worth noting: the show had two dancers wearing Hillary and Donald masks perform a brief political tango, and Amber Rose did a “salsa” to “Booty” by Jennifer Lopez (and Iggy Azalea) while competing against sweet, earnest 60-year-old Maureen McCormick.

Somehow this show keeps thinking of new ways to sincerely shock me!!! I am just shocked!!!

 
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