Image: Getty

If you imagine being a rich celebrity is just hobnobbing with other rich and celebrity-adjacent people, you’re right on the money that you probably don’t have. When they’re not giving each other awards, the famous are partying. Here’s the hard part: whose party do you go to? Decisions!

Happily, the Salonniere, a blog dedicated to the “art of entertaining,” offers an annual rating of hosts to help you figure out who throws the very best festivities. In a press release to The Hollywood Reporter, they announced that 100 names of hosts who exhibited “an exceptional ability to leverage the power of parties to enhance the lives of others” from 28 states.

Some are relatively unknown to plebs like us, but the Salonniere did also recognize celebrity hostesses with the mostesses, including Oprah, Solange Knowles, Heidi Klum, Reese Witherspoon, and Cindy Crawford with her husband Rande Gerber. Wow. So knowing we can’t hit all these events in one night, how do we choose which expertly hosted event to attended (for surely, we are all invited).

The options:

Oprah Winfrey

Okay, meeting Oprah is a lifelong dream, but I’ve personally always pictured it as more of a one-on-one over coffee. You cannot get any face time with the hostess, at least not long enough to leave an impression, unless you cry when she makes direct eye contact (which I would). But you know there will be a swag bag at an Oprah event, and no filler crap either.

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Solange

In every photoshoot I’ve seen of a Solange event, everyone looks better than you can even believe is humanly possible, so I’m going to assume I’d get a new, hot profile pic at this. Again, I doubt Solange would talk to me, but I’d feel cool for having been at her party until probably my dying day? And it must be said, though she is an incredible artist I’d be honored to meet with absolutely no other expectations, BEYONCÉ MIGHT BE THERE!!!

Heidi Klum

This will probably be a costume party.

Reese Witherspoon

Two words: DRA. MA. You want the party where shit goes down? You want whispered asides over a glass of sauvignon blanc? You want a sudden explosive fistfight on the wraparound porch on a hot summer night? This is that party. Also, you know every single one of them is themed within an inch of its life. It’s basically an Instagram wet dream.

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Cindy Crawford and Rande Gerber

This is the party you keep saying you should go to, but you end up getting to tipsy at Reese’s house and spend all night having a heart-to-heart with Busy Philipps in one of her half-bathrooms. It ends too early!

If my fantasy party experience goes anything like a regular Saturday night, I’ll probably just end up staying home, bloated from ordering too much Seamless. But whose party would YOU go to?

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