What the Hell Did Kerry Washington Get Shonda Rhimes For Her Birthday?

Today is Shonda Rhimes’ birthday. The Empress of Shondaland recieved, I’m sure, many wonderful birthday gifts today but I am only interested in one. Kerry Washington has given Shonda some fabulous but mysterious gift which we know because Shonda posted this trolly-ass tweet:

WHAT THE HELL SHONDA? What is this gift and how long do we have to wait to find out what it is? Since Shonda gave absolutely no indication of when that would be, let’s make completely unfounded guesses about what this SPOILER GIFT could possibly be.

Spoiler: We’ve jumped ahead in time where Olivia has given birth to either Fitz or Jake’s child and Kerry Washington’s actual daughter is playing the part of the baby because, oh my god we still haven’t seen a picture of that baby yet!

Gift: A copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting

Spoiler: Fitz and Jake are both dead

Gift: A framed cast photo

Spoiler: Olivia has staged a PR coup and is now the President of the United States

Gift: Two gold nameplates—one reads “President Pope” while the other, “President Rhimes” so she can switch depending on the mood she’s in.

Spoiler: Olivia is back on that island

Gift: A supply of natural hair care products

Spoiler: Shonda makes a guest appearance in a future episode as Olivia’s only sensible and non-murderous adult family member

Gift: An iPad that loops her scenes

Spoiler: After being kidnapped, Olivia is officially over this fuckshit and has switched to tequila

Gift: A case of the world’s most expensive tequila

Scandal isn’t back on the air until January 29th, proving that Shonda Rhimes has no greater joy than stringing us along both in real life and onscreen.