What Is This Toy Saying?

Hatchimals—they’re the most coveted toy this Christmas season, and also nasty little eggs who need to be punished.


The toy, which I’ve heard is like a Tamagotchi or a Furby, is basically an egg that cracks and turns into a weird bird with glowing eyes that wears a bit of its shell as a cap, and another bit of its shell as a suit. Then it pops all the way out and is just a furry bird. One especially cool (I guess) thing about a Hatchimal is that once it is in its “toddler” or “kid” stage, it will learn to talk by listening to its owner and randomly repeat whatever they say while in autonomous mode.

Some parents, while quietly observing their children playing with their new furry birds, discovered that the furry bird was sexually breathing and saying something that kind of sounds like “Fuck me.” But not...really? In my opinion, the breathing, that is at once sexual and babyish, is much more startling because it blurs the line between sex and being a baby which I feel is not a line that should be blurred.

In a statement, Spin Master (the company behind Hatchimals) said, “While the vast majority of children have had a magical experience with Hatchimals, we have also heard from consumers who have encountered challenges... We sincerely apologize and thank everyone who is experiencing an issue for their patience.” A company rep also assured BuzzFeed News that Hatchimals “do not curse, nor do they use foul language.”

I’m not really buying. Are you?

Senior Editor, Jezebel



Honestly, it sounds like it’s whimpering “Help me” and begging for the sweet release of death.

Same, creepy Hatchimal.