Amongst some sets, there is a new dating faux-pas to be on the lookout for: astrological snooping. Is this you? Have you done this? Do you have an opinion about this thing that, until very recently, didn’t really seem like a thing?
According to Refinery29, “astrological snooping” is asking the person in your romantic crosshairs questions in order to surreptitiously make their natal chart, all with the intention of ascertaining compatibility or learning about aspects of their personality that they have yet to reveal.
In order to make a natal chart, you need to know someone’s birth date, time of birth and where they were born. These questions are not necessarily ones that you answer on the first date, the second or even the third. Having done my own natal chart one stoned, introspective evening, I know that finding out the time of day I was born required a phone call to both parents and then a five minute search through the box of crap under my desk to find my birth certificate. To Refinery29's point, it’s really not that easy to work these questions into the getting-to-know-you stage of a possible romantic relationship.
I’ll let them explain it:
Sometimes, the temptation to delve into a new love interest’s astrological info right away proves too great. Instead of simply swapping ascendant signs, we whip out our handy chart app to get the dirt on their placements without their knowledge.
The explanation of how one would get the information necessary to make a birth chart and frantically compare personality traits is a bit murky—asking the questions in order to make the birth chart seems to be the first part of the “snooping,” though there is no actionable solution for how one should proceed. Instead, it’s the act of making the chart without their knowledge that’s the crux of the issue.
You’re seeking out personal information about a romantic partner without their knowledge, which, in general, isn’t the best way to get to know someone. But, if you’re only snooping to learn more about their astrological identity, should you feel all that guilty? Where some people invest a lot of meaning in their signs, others think it’s purely silly. Reading into someone’s Zodiac facts is not the same as pulling their credit score or finding every single one of their exes on Facebook. Is horoscope-scouring really even a dating faux pas?
To briefly answer the question posed: no. It is not a faux pas. If someone I was interested in took a gander at my birth chart, discovered that I am a Libra with a moon in Aries and my rising sign is Taurus, and decided as a result of that information that they no longer wanted to pursue a relationship with me, that’s fine. Conversely, I would neither care nor know what to do with the information that the person I was interested in was a Capricorn with a moon in Virgo. I would also never go to the lengths required to find out information that would enable me to make a birth chart because, again, I don’t really believe in astrology.
Here’s the query: Is this an additional thing to worry about as we all attempt to navigate the choppy, debris-filled waters of modern dating?
If one party believes very deeply in astrology and the other doesn’t, does this count as snooping?
DISCUSSION
I think everyone should absolutely upfront ask for this information if they want it. Because it will tell their date that they’re batshit insane. And if the date answers enthusiastically it means they’re equally insane and the chart might not be needed because they’re super compatible.