What Do You Carry Around in Your Big-Ass Purse?

On this morning’s Today Show, Hoda and Meredith Vieira (who’s subbing in for Kathie Lee) decided to go through each other’s big-ass bags to see what was in there. Both women were lugging around nearly 10 lbs. of stuff, ranging from make-up to good luck charms to birthday cards to wallets stuffed with cash.

Not to go all Cosmo on you by throwing around some pretty broad generalizations, but we women do tend to lug around purses with a ton of shit in them and what that shit is seems to vary greatly woman to woman. Back in my teenage years, there was a trend on LiveJournal forums where people would share what was in their bags and it was always endlessly fascinating — even though almost everyone was lying (unless every girl age 17-22 really does carry a Moleskin notebook, a copy of Lula magazine and a framed photograph of Jean Seberg with her where ever she goes).

Regardless of how all of these girls were LIARS, it was always a fun and voyeuristic exercise that gave you the smallest of glimpses into someone else’s life, which is why I suggest that we repeat it now, only this time with honesty. I’ll go first.

In my purse, there is:

• A wallet
• A metrocard
• A small notebook I got for free
• A pen (Pilot Precise V5 4 lyfe)
• Hand sanitizer
• A moist towelette stolen from an airplane
• A pack of Ricola
• A crushed piece of gum
• A makeup compact
• Oil absorbing sheets
• Chapstick
• Sunglasses
• Headphones (borrowed from Dodai, never returned)
• A badge to the Metropolitan Museum (because I am classy/am waiting for them to use the same color again so that I can sneak in)
• A single bobby pin
• Approximately 200 receipts
• Not pictured: an unwrapped cough drop that’s stuck to my purse’s lining.

Your turn! What are you hauling around with you?

(YouTube video is of comedian Reggie Watts performing his song “Big Ass Purse” during Conan O’Brien’s Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour.)