Cardi B has been uncharacteristically (and understandably) private regarding public photos of her baby girl with husband Offset. The only snaps of Kulture uploaded to Bardi’s Insta have been extreme close-ups and shots obscuring the baby’s face. Well, yesterday a committed paparrazo, with a camera zoom strong enough to spot dust on Mars, captured photos of Bardi and Kulture, dressed in a pouf of a pink tutu, on a hotel balcony in Miami. An unnamed woman holds Kulture, who already seems to have a grasp of her angles and light source, while the proud mama snaps pics on her cell phone, beaming the whole time. Cardi was beaming, not Kulture. Kulture looks annoyed. Babies always look annoyed to me.
I’m currently 28, so I was actually a teenager when MTV’s Teen Mom, and later Teen Mom 2, were airing on MTV. I’ve always thought of the girls from Teen Mom as being the reality TV descendants of those spirited, hellish preteen delinquents which were regular guests on shows like Maury, Ricki Lake, and Sally Jessie Raphael. Like, “My 11-year-old smokes cigarettes and throws knives at me if I tell her to go to school” or “This nine-year-old is out of CONTROL!” The respective talk show hosts would then be charged with reining in the “out of control” little girl (they were almost always girls), usually via boot camp or a rigorous therapy session.
Anyways, one Teen Mom alum I try to keep track of is Janelle Evans, who is currently in a public custody battle with the father of Kaiser, her ex-fiance Nathan. The feud has made its way to Twitter, with Nathan throwing his usual digs at Janelle’s parenting. Sidenote: Janelle’s mom was simultaneously the most exasperated and like formally supportive mom in reality TV history.