We Got What We Needed From Jesse & Sandra

And that’s that: For all of our sympathetic fascination and focus on the saga of the terrible wrongs committed against Sandra Bullock, today brings the scandal’s nadir. Now it’s over. And don’t you feel satisfied?

We finally got what we wanted, didn’t we? I use “wanted” loosely — who wants these terrible things to happen to any woman? — but amidst reportage that James was a “history” buff (particularly Nazi history, I guess), we now have irrefutable confirmation of the rumors that Jesse James struck a “Heil Hitler” pose for a camera. Is there anything more powerful than visual proof? That Us photo, enraging as it may be, would hold up in any court of gossip law. And whether James regularly doffed a SS cap or was simply joking around at some party with the type of folks who find Nazi memorabilia interesting (though Us reports that the photo was taken in his own home while he was still dating Bullock) doesn’t matter. All that matters right now is that he posed for that photo.

But we suspected all of this, didn’t we? We were teased with the “maybes” and the insinuations and suggestions, though nothing was deemed an actual fact. So our attention was held by the possibility that things were just getting worse. It seemed inevitable that they would — James didn’t even bother issuing any real denials as reports of sexual harassment came out, and now we’re up to Mistress Number Five or something. In the tabloid justice system, we instinctively believe stars are probably guilty until proven innocent, and how can you provide proof that James wasn’t bad news? You can’t. But you certainly can provide visual proof that he was a total asshat.

Admit it: Deep down, you wanted that hard evidence. With it comes a sort of satiation of our basest appetites. There’s no more wondering what is and isn’t true, or how terrible Jesse might be, or how disturbing a picture like the one above might look. Now we know.

And so this story is coming to its natural conclusion: Unfortunate imagery is revealed, Sandra reportedly readies for divorce, and Jesse’s in sex rehab. The post-mortem analysis has kicked in right on schedule (ours included). There’s something tidy and pat about all of it. Short of further shocking revelations — what, James is a Klan member? Or would a sex video even matter at this point? — this saga, whether the celeb weeklies continue with it or not, is over. We’ve got our closure; eventually Sandra will get hers.

Exclusive: Jesse James Posed as Adolf Hitler While Dating Sandra Bullock [Us Weekly]

Earlier: Jesse James Hitler Photo Revealed
Jesse’s Legal Troubles Predate Sandra
Memo To Tabloids: Sandra Bullock Trumps All
Jesse James Is The Most Hated Man In America