We All Just Want to be on Desert Islands with Our Dogs

When the water wars come, we’re all gonna kill and eat each other before we even think of turning on our pets. Who’s a dumb dog now?

According to Psychology Today, if we all had to choose a single companion, “most of us would choose a dog or cat above a human (stranger, family, or even best friend).” Many of us also think of our pets as better listeners than the people we know, and a whopping ninety-four percent of us talk to at them about all the things going on in our crazy modern lives.

While I’m not so sure these stats are set in stone/totally accurate, I don’t think it’s all that surprising that there are those of us who feel more comfortable in the companionship of critters — they are companion animals, after all. Plus, it’s much easier to vent to my dogs in an extra sweet voice than it is to rationally explain my sometimes irrational feelings to friends and family. I might’ve cooed “I’m gonna maim that little jackhole, aren’t I, Tobykins? Your mommy is a real bitch when she needs to be!” as I was doing chores around the house tonight. If I said half the things I said to my dogs to my boyfriend, he’d have me committed. And now you’re looking at me funny, too! See, this is why I talk to my pets. They get it. God.