Watching a Meerkat Eat a Roach Named After Your Ex Isn't Healthy, But It Is Fun

Illustration for article titled Watching a Meerkat Eat a Roach Named After Your Ex Isnt Healthy, But It Is Fun
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There was a time when a television program by the name of Meerkat Manor was the most important thing in my life, much more so than the boyfriend I often watched it with. So believe me when I say that those little buggers are brutal and would love nothing more than to symbolically devour your ex on Valentine’s Day. And now you can watch!

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If you Facebook message the El Paso Zoo with the name of your ex, they will bestow said moniker upon a doomed cockroach and then feed the damned to a ravenous meerkat on Facebook Live this Valentine’s Day.

“The meerkats love to get cockroaches as a snack and what better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day than by feeding them a cockroach named after your ex!” zoo event coordinator Sarah Borrego told CBS News.

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I generally celebrate by eating an entire pizza by myself and watching Silence of the Lambs, but this sounds like a fine way to enjoy the holiday as well.

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DISCUSSION

I fully support these types of spiteful anti-valentines gifts. Years ago, probably 2007, after my ex-bf had dumped me for a girl he basically imported from Israel to replace me with (he was rich, and I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried) I got an email from Damien Rice’s website offering to send an e-valentine which would play the song Rootless Tree while showing some weird animated video of it. If you aren’t familiar with Damien Rice he’s like the king of unrequited love songs, and I’ve always felt he spoke from/to my soul. I totally sent that shit to my ex, because fuck him, and it felt great.

Here is the chorus:

So fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
And all we’ve been through
I said leave it, leave it, leave it
It’s nothing to you
And if you hate me, hate me, hate me
Then hate me so good that you can let me out, let me out, let me out
Of this hell when you’re around