Watch Tara the Hero Cat Throw Out the First Pitch

Tara the hero cat who saved her boy from a dog attack threw out the first pitch at a baseball game last night. And, like most cats, she really fucking sucks at baseball.

Since the Bakersfield, California feline went from run-of-the-mill house pet who poops in a box to A-list last week, everyone’s wanted a piece. She’s been on TODAY, on CNN, on countless local news channels. She’s slated to grace the cover of Cat Fancy, she’s got tens of thousands of Facebook fans. Hell, her owners have even set up a Tara the Hero Cat Cafe Press shop where interested parties can purchase a variety of branded products, including a Tara the Hero Cat adult onesie.

Pass. But I’d totally hang out with someone who had this.

Tara’s first pitch went about as well as a person could expect a cat’s attempt to throw a baseball. The cat didn’t know where it was and seemed a little stressed out. The owner nervously clenched his teeth while attempting to navigate the animal’s paw in the direction of the baseball. The little boy wasn’t paying attention.

And the whole spectacle made me hope against hope that this family stops rewarding the cat that saved its kid’s life by constantly stressing it out. Let Tara lounge smugly on the landscaping. Don’t keep humiliating her in front of thousands like she’s the cat version of Chuck Knoblauch with the yips.