Apparently, Cooper's mother (a VANDERBILT no less) made him proofread her memoir wherein she calls a lover the "Nijinsky of cunnilingus." The book is also about the other men in her life, but Cooper blessed us with that particular anecdote while discussing the Rob Ford scandal, proving that in 2013, all roads must lead back to the mayor of Toronto.
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Oh dear god, no. Where is that fleeing "nope" octopus when you need him.