Watch All the Most Cringeworthy Greetings From The Bachelor Premiere

“I do not love that there’s a million bitches inside this house right now,” said Jordan, a 24-year-old student from Windsor, Colorado during Monday night’s premiere of The Bachelor. Jordan wasn’t the only one upset by the number of women in the house, which was higher than usual (30 in total): almost as if they knew they’d have extra competition this season, woman after woman attempted to make themselves stand out in a sea of synthetic dresses and carefully tousled hair with increasingly desperate and bizarre tactics. Perhaps Jordan was just feeling defensive; compared to the antics of her fellow “ladies,” her decision to gift Bachelor Chris Soules with a fun-size bottle of whiskey and take a shot with him was relatively tame. Hey, whatever it takes man.