Wack Dork Sues His Date for Texting During Guardians of the Galaxy

To much applause, a Texas man named Brandon Vezmar is suing a woman he took out on a date because she texted during Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. Vezmar is seeking $17.31, the cost of a ticket for a 3D screening of the film. This is bad.

Texting in the movie theater is also bad. So very bad* that it’s understandable if you might consider it a deal-breaker. It’s even understandable that you might criticize someone for doing it, to the point that they felt things weren’t going well and they should leave. In an interview with the Austin American-Statesman, Vezmar alleges that’s exactly what he did: he asked his date to stop, then he suggested she text in the lobby if it was so important (according to texts he released of their conversation after the fact, she was talking with her best friend who “needed me right away”). She disappeared and he discovered she’d left him at the theater without a ride.

Maybe you’re Team Vezmar, but there are still more details. The woman was contacted by the Statesman for comment, and it was the first she’d heard of the suit her brief beau had filed against her:

“Oh my God,” she said. “This is crazy.”

Yes, it is. Vezmar had been trying to contact her for a refund on their time together, which she refused because “he took me out on a date.” She says he had additionally attempted to contact her little sister to recoup his money. This is creepy! Persistently harassing someone to the point of bringing a lawyer and national attention to your “cause” doesn’t make you a hero striking back against rude theatre goers everywhere; it makes you a controlling a-hole. In Vezmar’s petition against the unnamed woman he wrote, “While damages sought are modest, the principle is important as defendant’s behavior is a threat to civilized society.” Give. Me. A. Break.

As of Wednesday, the movie theater has offered Vezmar a gift certificate for $17.31 if he’ll drop the suit. Whether or not he will accept it is not yet clear; in the meantime, he’s been getting a lot of love, at least according to him:

And from Guardians writer/director James Gunn:

Lol!

In a statement to KVUE, the texter said that his behavior made her “extremely uncomfortable,” and that she felt potentially unsafe, which is why she chose to leave.

“I’m not a bad woman,” she told the Statesman. “I just went out on a date.” That’s what women will be screaming everywhere when some jerk is legally allowed to jail us because we weren’t their perfect first date partners.