Violence, Weeping Men, & Lizzie Grubman Star In RHONJ Premiere

Danielle Staub who? Seriously, that lady will not be missed (although, you can still see plenty of her at Scores, where she's now a stripper). Including Teresa's brother Joey, his wife Melissa, and their first cousin Kathy was the best casting decision Bravo could have possibly made. (Not to mention Kathy's husband Richie, with his cross nestled in his chest hair.)

Illustration for article titled Violence, Weeping Men,  Lizzie Grubman Star In emRHONJ/em Premiere

Within the first five minutes of this season people were screaming and wasted, fists were pounding, and food was flying up in the air—all at a baby's christening. And BTW, what's the deal with this family and their christenings that rival wedding receptions? Melissa mentioned in her Bravo blog that they also had a Michael Jackson impersonator. That wasn't the only interesting thing she said. Melissa stressed several times that her husband makes an "honest" living:

This amazing man, who built everything with his own two hands the honest way since he was nine years old.


It seems like the entire family rivalry boils down to all of them complaining and crying about how they don't get enough attention from one another, but when they are actually all in the same room together, they don't actually hang out, but rather complain about how they never hang out.

The weirdest thing, though, had to be Lizzie Grubman's cameo as Ashley's "boss." Are we to expect to see more of her this season as Ashley cries her way into a PR career?

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Ashley is the worst. She's an oil spot on a dirt road. The grime around a gas station bathroom sink. She's all problems and no solutions, but just full of excuses. Really? It's hard to go into work? Bwahahahahahaha! Oh jeebus! Hahahahahaha! Oh, honey, life is going run you over, throw it in reverse and back up on over you again. The way Ashley sabotages her life at every opportunity, she may even get Lizzie Grubman to do it herself.