Elisha Cuthbert, Sandra Lee, Lea Michele, Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting, and Eva Longoria—a collection of names that must have been pulled out of the world’s most peculiar hat—were all interviewed by their pets, and People was there to film it. It’s always nice to receive more proof that celebrities are just like us, right?

The five aggressively unfunny interviews (unfunny, but still funny, you know?) play out like the result of a meeting that ended too soon, as though an idea were approved because someone’s boss needed to pick up their kids at school...an hour ago. “Pets interviewing owners? Got it. Great. Grab one of the writers—the new one—and talk to Mary about budget. I’ve gotta go but we’ll probably need this tomorrow.”

There’s something charming about seeing rich and famous people interact with their animals (have you seen pictures of Jessica Chastain and her three-legged dog?!), but none of that is on display here. Instead of bringing these famous women down to earth, they’re shot even further up into the sky, hovering over all of us in their unfathomably strange bubble of celebrity where a normal day’s work includes being filmed by a national publication as you talk about where your two birds have pooped on you.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I’m ecstatic that this series of interviews exists. If only for Sandra Lee’s response.

Contact the author at bobby@jezebel.com.

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