Pedretti’s post and caption both seemed to commemorate the anniversary of a gross and degrading exchange with an unnamed powerful man, while also making an important point: Sexual harassment, disrespect, and mistreatment have little to do with how we present ourselves as women. It’s about power, and a culture that routinely shrugs off women’s discomfort. To Pedretti’s point, neither “modesty” nor any other choices women might make can protect us from harassment and general creepiness.

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It isn’t clear—nor does it matter—what scenes the male actor was referring to. Pedretti is most famous for her role in You as Joe Goldberg’s (Penn Badgley) main love interest-turned-almost-killer. Badgley, himself, has more recently spoken about his own discomfort with filming sex scenes, and ultimately asked You’s showrunner if he could stop filming sex scenes this season, period. In 2021, Pedretti characterized filming love scenes with Badgley as “strange,” especially right after emerging from the pandemic lockdown.

Pedretti keeps a relatively low profile and notably shares little about her personal life, making her disclosure this week especially chilling.