Vanity Fair Is About to Drop a Major GOOP Bomb on Us

Vanity Fair and Gwyneth Paltrow are straight beefing, y’all. Or, to make the sentence more GOOP friendly, we might say that Vanity Fair and Gwyneth Paltrow are straight gluten-free beef substituting, but the point is that they are FIGHTING and if things get anymore heated, a rich person might be at risk of having their monocle broken by a flying champagne bottle or gold chalice or something. Sides could be taken! The 1% could literally tear itself apart!

Vanity Fair, taking a much needed break from writing about every single thing Kate Middleton has ever done, is planning a Gwyneth Paltrow cover story next month and, apparently, it’s less than flattering. Back in September, the New York Times published an email in which Paltrow railed against the story and suggested to her famous friends that they never work with the magazine again.

“Vanity Fair is threatening to put me on the cover of their magazine,” she wrote. “If you are asked for quotes or comments, please decline. Also, I recommend you all never do this magazine again.”

The request is fair enough, I guess, but as Allison P. Davis over at The Cut points out, Gwyneth’s hard campaign against the magazine is a touch peculiar “unless Vanity Fair is planning on running the most negative piece ever.”

Even without the cooperation of Paltrow & Friends, Vanity Fair is moving forward with the story. So what’s the dirt? That Apple’s birth name is actually something normal and boring like Karen or Denise? That Chris Martin is sufferable? Do they have a photo of Gwyneth chowing down at Chipotle like a commoner? WHAT? The world must know!