I've a bone to pick with you about the response to this week's Pop The Question, on the subject of Valentine's Day proposals and weddings: Everyone was far too nice. This is the internet, people! Where is the outrage? Why aren't you screaming at one another and indicating that you are so doing by the employment of capital letters? And I didn't see one single accusation of discriminating against winged angels who are big into archery. I'm so disappointed.
Nah okay, you caught me: The response was really lovely and sensible and measured, and the fact that this is such a nice community makes this column that much more fun to put together each week. The vast majority of you fell into the It's not for me, but I can't hate on it camp, when it came to the idea of a Valentine's Day proposal. The Valentine's Day wedding, however, is a thing many of you objected to, partly because it demands that your guests forego their own celebrations in favor of another couple's, and partly because a number of you noted that the cost of flowers would be outrageous.
The poll results, however, painted a different picture.
In spite of the overwhelming Kumbaya nature of the response, this topic brought out the snark in some of you (but it was gentle snark because you all are being lovely and sensible and measured in your responses to these questions).
Getting divorced on Valentine's Day — now that's an idea I can get behind.
No, dummies! You're supposed to propose on February 13 to distract your partner from the fact that you didn't get him/her/it anything for Valentine's Day.
Listen, we all know the reason guys want marriages on Valentine's Day is so the anniversary will be easy to remember. #RealTalk
I've got to say that I've always been tempted (should I ever get married) to suggest Valentines day. I'm not too big on romantic celebrations/making a fuss of any kind, and as a bonus it's also my birthday! PROS: 1. Gets all the things over with at once. 2. I am unlikely to forget anniversary/valentines day in comedic manner of old time-y sitcom husband. (Well, less likely) CONS: 1. Apparently this will really irritate some people. Who knew?
But then! Then there were your wonderful stories about your own Valentine's Day proposals and weddings and, really, who among us is coldhearted enough not to AWWWWWWW when reading these lovely tales? Not me, that's for sure!
Perhaps I'm a horrible, horrible person, but I did propose on Valentine's day, and yes, it was a big public deal. I proposed to my wife during a Jim Brickman concert. We got called on stage where I proposed to her, and then we got the chance to dance a bit on stage while he played a song "for us." On the other end though, anytime you plan a wedding on any sort of holiday you're just a cruel person. Holidays aren't about spending time celebrating the love of my great-aunt's nephew from her second marriage. I shouldn't have to cancel plans I might have had for myself and my family because someone decided the day should be all about them. Heck, I have a lady at my work who decided to plan her wedding for July 4th this year since it falls on a Saturday. She thought it was a great time until she had several people say that they have standing plans with family every July 4th and not to waste the money sending them invitations; myself included. Need help remembering your anniversary over the years? Get one of those "Mr and Mrs Annoying established some date that doesn't ruin someone's holiday" signs made up and hang it somewhere in the house. The wife and I have a picture hanging up that was taken of the sign outside of the B&B where we were married that let folks know about the event which included the date on the sign.
I got married on Valentine's Day two years ago. Whenever people IRL find out they always coo about how romantic it is (though maybe they're just being polite and silently judging). In reality we chose it for two reasons: 1) we wanted to get married on a holiday so Mr. Elle would remember; 2) I moved to his country on a fiancee visa and we had a fairly narrow window to do it. If it didn't fall on a different day every year we would have gotten married on Mardi Gras instead.
Color me cliché, 'cause I got engaged on V-day last year. Oh, and to top it off, I was preggers. We had already been living together for years and I was constantly wondering, "is he going to ask me at this semi-special occasion?" and he would always tell me, "when you least expect it." And he was right. So, you know, I'm cool with being a cliché. I'm happy.
This Valentine's Day will mark my parents' 34th wedding anniversary so I guess I'm a little biased here. My parents were engaged for all of two weeks and my mom made her own wedding cake. They were also both born in February (as am I) so I think it's all really fitting and adorable. To each their own.
Well, great. Now I feel so warm and fuzzy that I can't even pick a favorite comment to round out this post. So I didn't! Instead, I picked two.
I accidentally ruined a Valentine's Day proposal last year. I spent basically the entire day trying to drown myself in wine and bubble baths (same plans this year, baby). And then, as I'm soaking, I hear my one of my roommates swearing loudly in their bathroom (I live with a couple). Turns out that I had used up all the hot water. It ALSO turns out that he was planning on proposing to her that day...in the bath? He did it the next day, they ended the engagement a few months later, but now he's living with us again so they both have fair warning that I have fucking DIBS on any and all hot water this year. Verdict: if you're going to propose on V-Day, at least do it in a way that's not super awkward when you have to tell your family how it went down.
Equally fun fact: last Valentine's Day I was working at a Bubba Gump's (it was a low point in my life), and two different men slipped me the engagement ring and asked me to bring it out in a glass of wine (we don't got no champagne) or with desert when they signaled me. At least 4 couples that I saw got engaged that night, kneeling on a grody brick floor strewn with shrimp parts. The amount of scorn leveled at these dudes by the restaurant staff kept me going for at least a week. Don't ever propose on Valentine's Day. Or at a tacky tourist restaurant. Or ever.
Image via Shutterstock.