Tyra Banks Wants Babies Right Now Before Her Eggs Are Parboiled

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Tyra Banks, entrepreneur, self-declared “fivehead” and human being as delightful as she is batshit, denied to Steve Harvey that she was recently romanced by the much-younger Drake as well as her America’s Next Top Model co-star Robert Evans. In the process, she unleashed a crazed monologue that invokes Sarah Kane at her circa-4.48 Psychosis darkest:

“There’s been a lot of rumors that I’ve been dating certain people. Young boys. Ain’t true. I ain’t a cougar… Really, I’m ready to have some babies. Yeah! I want babies. I’ve always wanted them, but, I’ve been saying ‘I want babies in three years’ since I was like, 27. At 38 years old, I think it’s time. They’re going to be parboiled and fried and scrambled up in there. Time to get them eggs workin’!”

“I never thought I would ever hear you say that,” replies Harvey, proprietor of the Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Fetus Gestation Vessel franchise, and everyone claps. Gah. I mean, I’m sure Tyra’s kids would be magic, but the crazy eyes on that woman—my God, the crazy eyes. Video at the link. [HuffPo]


Well! This goes a long way to solve the mystery of why Lindsay Lohan’s down to talk to Barbara Walters all of a sudden: apparently she struck a deal with Liz & Dick producers to have a sit-down with Walters in exchange for them paying off her famously overdue $46,000 tab at the Chateau Marmont. Also explains why she’s no longer banned from the A-list hotel. Why do people still think it’s fun to do drugs there there? John Belushi fucking died there. It’s like the hotel from The Shining. [Celebitchy]


Matthew Fox, who was accused of drunkenly punching a woman in her private parts last year (and called out as being physically abusive to women on a regular basis by Lost co-star Dominic Monaghan), has spoken out to the contrary. Fox told Men’s Fitness, “In the 46 years I’ve been breathing on this planet, I have never hit a woman before. Never have, never will. Out of all the negative shit, the only thing that’s true is that I was arrested for a DUI.” [NYDN]


Yes, folks, Beyoncé is your Superbowl halftime show performer. Back in 2004, Yoncy sang the national anthem for the Patriots versus Panthers game; although it has yet to be officially announced by the NFL, she dropped a duh-tastic clue on her Tumblr. If, like last year, the show is studded with guest stars, we can also expect Jay-Z. [LA Times]


Courtney Stodden is 100 percent natural,” confirms a plastic surgeon who was definitely not paid to say that and is definitely a plastic surgeon as opposed to some out-of-work former Groundlings performer she and Doug Hutchison found at Starbucks. [Celebuzz]


Bette Midler’s going to be on Glee. She hopes to be cast as Lea Michele’s grandmother. Why has it taken this long?


  • Mel Gibson’s dating some woman who’s into karate. [TMZ]
  • Kristen Stewart bought a gazillion-dollar house a block away from Robert Pattinson, who isn’t quite ready to share quarters with her yet. [Entertainmentwise]
  • A homeless guy broke into Frances Bean Cobain’s house and faces up to 6 years in prison. [TMZ]
  • If you’re an NYU student, you should probably take a class with Professor Questlove next semester. [Vulture]
  • Damian Whitwood of Australian Dancing With The Stars says he’s not “the other man” in the Danielle Spencer and Russell Crowe split. [Herald Sun]
  • Jennifer Lopez had a nip slip in Italy during a concert. [E!]
  • Kim Kardashian wants you to know that she is the only person to blame for her ill-fitting mustard-yellow bolero. [Bossip]
  • Katy Perry took John Mayer to dinner for his 35th birthday and I like her coat! [Entertainmentwise]
  • Cameron Diaz still cleans her own toilet, if you care? [Monsters and Critics]
  • Of course, Bachelorette Emily Maynard and her winner Jef Holm have broken their engagement. [People]
  • Here’s a picture of Brandon Routh‘s new son Leo James. Does it give anyone else the weirds on a visceral level when a shirtless guy cuddles a baby? [People]
  • Christina Aguilera’s fine with aging, thanks. [People]
  • Dakota Fanning and Brooklyn Decker went br00nett. [People]
  • Mel B. slapped Simon Cowell one time when he called her fat while she was pregnant. [The Sun]
  • If Scarlett Johansson is dating Sam Rockwell, I will be jealous. [Page Six]
  • Nicky Hilton might be moving to New York City. [Page Six]
  • Chris Brown has a stupid new tattoo, again. [The Life Files]
  • Frank Ocean has lots of plans (e.g. “I want to write a novel about twins”). [The Life Files]
  • Taylor Swift has some gams on the cover of Rolling Stone. [Yeeeah]
  • Tom Hardy’s a tattoo artist in his free time. [VH1]
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