Tucker Carlson Asks Former Abercrombie Manager How to Up His Testosterone
These two noted non-scientists are now advising men across America to tan their balls.
EntertainmentEntertainment
We all have our kinks, and judging by the new trailer for an upcoming Tucker Carlson Original, it would appear Mr. Carlson and I share a few. Who knew?
Over the weekend, the preview for Carlson’s, “The End of Men,” left Twitter both tickled and titilated thanks to its gratuitous shots of brawny and bare-chested men, awash in soft-lighting, completing a series of manly (I guess?) tasks: grilling meat, chopping wood, flipping tires, beating the shit out of each other, chugging raw egg yolks and milking cows—notably, without a pail. But one scene shines a little brighter than the rest: In one of the trailer’s opening shots, a man stands buck-ass naked—limbs outstretched in a starfish position, face tipped skyward—and appears to be baking his balls in the LED light beams of what looks like a Tesla charging station.
“Well, hard iron sharpens iron as they say, and those hard times inevitably produce men who are tough, men who are resourceful, men who are strong enough to survive. They go on to reestablish order, and so the cycle begins again,” explains a British man via voiceover. But not even the most distinguished of accents could make that sentiment sound smart.
The episode, which premiered today, reportedly investigates a “total collapse” of testosterone levels amongst men in recent years and sees Carlson sitting down with a number of authorities on this life-and-death matter. One of them is Andrew McGovern, a fitness “expert” and personal trainer at Life Time Fitness in Columbus, Ohio.
In a heavily circulated clip of the episode, McGovern says men should consider “bromeopathic therapy”—in essence, the use of infrared light on the testicles—as a radical counter for decreasing levels of testosterone.
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