Très Chic Mary-Kate Olsen Married a French Banker and Passed Out Cigarettes at the Reception

Former child star and urban witch, Mary-Kate Olsen married Olivier Sarkozy (the half-brother of Nicolas Sarkozy), a French banker nearly twenty years her senior. This sentence was already perfect, nothing less than a greying French banker for either of the Olsen twins, but it gets better. According to reports, the couple held an intimate ceremony and asked guests to turn off their cell phones.

To assuage guests from the pains of turning off their phones, the reception was decorated with “bowls and bowls filled with cigarettes, and everyone smoked the whole night.” Which is wonderful; so French, so chic, so Olsen twin. Johnny Depp is so jealous right now. [Page Six]

A young Katy Perry desperately awaiting the teenage dream:

Sure Adele might have sold over 3 million albums in the first week, but have you seen her bodyguard? Hello. According to Huffington Post, this is Peter van der Veen and prior to his gig with Adele, he worked for Lady Gaga for five years. Other useful information: “The former bodybuilder from Holland was crowned Mr. Europe in 2005.” [Huffington Post]

Lindsey Vonn said that she still had feelings for ex-boyfriend Tiger Woods: “I mean, I loved him and I still love him. I had an amazing three years with him.” [Gossip Cop]
Chelsea Peretti and Jordan Peele are engaged. [Refinery29]
Gigi Hadid is still famous. [Just Jared]
Henry Cavill adopted a bat named “Ben.” [Gossip Cop]
Anna Wintour is not interested in being a Tony awards voter. [Page Six]
Despite hosting Lip Sync Battle, Chrissy Teigen is officially one of my favorite celebrities. [E!]
Prince Harry fell off of a horse while playing polo because the ultra-rich like their leisure with a little danger. [NYDN]
Idris Elba has “nothing constructive” to say about James Bond. [Just Jared]
Ice-T and Coco say there are “no haters” allowed near their newborn daughter Chanel’s Twitter account. [E!]