Town Demands Replacement for Its Sad-Sack Charlie Brown Christmas Tree

Like so many towns across America, Reading, Pennsylvania recently installed an official Christmas tree and lit it with great ceremony. Unfortunately, citizens say it is ass-ugly and they want another one, pronto.

WFMZ sent a reporter downtown to ask passersby what they thought of the tree. “And I’m saying, ‘What in the world is THAT?'” said one woman. “It looks sad,” said another. “It’s nasty, it’s pathetic, and they shouldn’t have it here,” said one man, who added that, “Not to be funny—if there was a squirrel right now looking for a place to live in the winter, it wouldn’t even go into this tree.” Critics were similarly harsh in talking to WTXF, calling the rather skimpy spruce “just ugly.”