Totally Rational Dude Spends Almost $500 on Surgery for Goldfish

A British man forked over nearly $500 for surgery to help his constipated goldfish.

According to the BBC, a Norfolk man took his ailing pet goldfish to a local vet. When he found out the fish was suffering from constipation and need a a £300 (about $459) surgery to help it, he gave them the green light. Let the fish poop surgery commence!

Vet Faye Bethell used anaesthetised water to knock out the goldfish before removing the blockages.

“At the end of the day they’re all pets and everybody does have a commitment to their pet,” Miss Bethell said.

“[The goldfish] was constipated because he had a lump blocking his bottom, rather than because of his diet or any other reason,” she said.

“The issue was the fish couldn’t poo and it would have eventually become toxic and it would have died,” Bethell explained. “There was nothing special about the fish. He just liked it a lot. People love their pets — but that was an expensive little goldfish.”

I feel like “goldfish surgery” is a thing you come up with when you are really, really stoned. But fish surgery is definitely not a new thing. He’s also not the first guy to have an extremely close bond with a goldfish. Far be it for me to judge how you want your $500. For some its goldfish surgery, others it’s a closet full of shoes or a small storage unit filled with mint condition Marvel comics. You do you, folks.