If you paid any attention to coverage of San Diego Comic Con over the past week, you’re probably aware of the upcoming Tom Hiddleston/Brie Larson action flick, Harambe’s Revenge. It’s going to be a big tentpole release for Warner Brothers, so they did their best to hype it up at the convention—there was a panel with the cast, an exciting new trailer, and (maybe) a direct order for Taylor Swift to stay the hell away.
Writes The Sun:
Tom did want to bring his new love but bosses “banned” the singer as they “feared” a Hiddleswift “circus”.
I can see it now. Tom on the phone with two authentic tears falling down his cheeks. “But, Mr. and Mr. Warner, I...I love her.”
“You’re on fire, kid,” they tell him. “But that girl’s a box of dynamite.”
“She is dynamite, isn’t she.”
“You’re not hearing me, kid. I’m sayin’ she’s a distraction.”
“Distractingly beautiful, that’s for sure.”
“Listen, Tommy boy. Tell the little lady to stay home. You got a monkey movie to sell.”
[The Sun]
Michael Lohan texted Egor Tarabasov about the recent unpleasantness and shared his typo-ridden performances of machismo with TMZ. Here’s what the messages said:
You threaten my daughter, touch her or if anything happens to her and you will have no where to hide mother ducked like weasel.
VOME Here And Face ME like a man and bring your daddy and mommy
Return her jewelry you broke phoney or I’ll take it out of your ass. I WILL find you.
It’s nice to have confirmation (or something resembling confirmation) that Tarabasov isn’t actually a wealthy businessman. We sort of alway knew he wasn’t, didn’t we?
[TMZ]
When asked whether Ashton Kutcher’s dick was more “carrot stick” or “beer can,” here’s what his wife Mila Kunis said:
Kunis chose carrot stick. “Carrot stick?” Corden asked, raising an eyebrow.
“But beer cans are short,” Kunis explained.
“No, not a big beer can,” Corden corrected her.
“A beer can!” Kunis shouted. “A beer can!” in defense of her original answer, she told Corden and Applegate, “I’m thinking it’s short and stubby or long and thin. But no, [it’s] like a Guinness.”
Or, as Corden put it, “Like a can of Monster.”
How dreadful! All of it! Just dreadful.
- Someone slapped Justin Timberlake. [Us Weekly]
- Rob was mad at Chyna but now they’re fine so everyone can stop worrying. [E! Online]
- Janet Jackson’s secret daughter has been confirmed for the millionth time. [Radar Online]
- Why won’t Airbnb let me stay in a $50 million Nantucket mansion for free? [People]
- Britney Spears and I are twins. [ONTD]
- :( :( :( ... :) [Shady Music Facts]